


The Hobbit: Reader Inserts

by middleearth2asgard



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: F/M, One Shot, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2018-02-21 21:23:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 24,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2482940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/middleearth2asgard/pseuds/middleearth2asgard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Baking your way into Dwalin's heart</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Sibling Rivalry

"Y/n, who is the best looking dwarf in the company?"

You couldn't believe Kili was interrupting your attempt to nap with this worn out question. 

"For the 50th time, I am not going to answer that."

"You don't have to be worried about hurting their feelings," Kili said, waving his hand at the rest of the company. "They already know it's me." 

You heard a snort somewhere behind you that you assumed had to have come from Dwalin. It made you chuckle.

"If you are so confident, Kili, then why do you need to hear me say it?" 

"It isn't for me. It is for Fili. He suffers from the delusion that he's the better looking brother, and I just want to help him see things clearly." 

Ah sibling rivalry. 

"If you don't answer me this time, I'm going to get Bombur to sit on you." 

"Hah, I'd answer him, y/n." Bombur managed between bites of a sausage link. "That would kill you." 

The only way you were going to get any peace was to tell Kili what he wanted to hear, but that didn't mean you couldn't have a tone of sarcasm as repayment for all the times he'd bugged you with this.

"You're stunning, Kili. Drop dead gorgeous. It's astonishing that you don't have to beat women off with a stick." 

Apparently your sarcasm was lost on him though because he was grinning from ear to ear. "I told you, Fili! It feels good to look so...good." 

You looked at him, shaking your head. He was going to be impossible to live with after this.


	2. Baking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baking your way into Dwalin's heart

By the time the company arrived at Rivendell, you had managed to win over every member of the company except two: Thorin and Dwalin. It was nearly impossible to break through their gruff exteriors. They usually just responded to you with grunts instead of actual words. You were pretty sure that Thorin's rugged persona went all the way through him and back out the other side, but you had come up with a plan that might just win Dwalin over. 

After Lord Elrond gave you permission to use the kitchens, you rushed over and started pulling out all of the ingredients you would need to make the finest cupcakes in Middle-Earth. It was a recipe that your mother was famous for, and you had been helping her make them since you were tiny. You were extra careful to make sure that they turned out absolutely perfect. 

As you were letting them cool, you heard a friendly, familiar voice call out "Lass, I knew I smelled baking in here! What are you making?" 

"Cupcakes, and.." Smack! You popped Bofur's hand with a wooden spoon to stop him from grabbing one. "They are still too hot to eat." 

Bofur feigned a hurt expression then went right back to his normal, cheerful smile. 

"What brought this on?"

"I just wanted to do something nice for you guys. You know...so you all would like me," you trailed off. 

Bofur smiled sweetly at you and ruffled your hair, causing you to giggle. "We already like you, lassie."

"Thorin and Dwalin don't." 

"Well they are old grouches. Don't let 'em bother you. They'll come 'round." 

He stuffed his mouth with a cupcake that you had finally allowed him to eat. "Might want to be careful with these though, y/n. Dwalin will want to marry ya when he tastes one." 

Bofur's assessment wasn't terribly far off. When Dwalin saw the plate of cupcakes, his eyes went wide. He picked one up and took a bite, chewing it slowly. 

"Did you make these, y/n?"

"Y-yes Dwalin, sir, I did. Are they alright?"

He walked over to you while still chewing, picked you up in one arm, and spun you around before setting you back on the ground.

He then proceeded to snatch the plate away from an unsuspecting Nori, claiming the rest for himself. Bombur's chubby cheeks sank in disappointment at the realization that he wasn't going to be getting any. 

You couldn't help but smile at the scene in front of you, even if it meant you had to bake a lot more cupcakes.


	3. Can You Feel the Love Tonight?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin/Reader

"Why won't he be the king I know he is? The king I see INSIIIDE!!"

You had been smitten with Thorin Oakenshield ever since your very first meeting with him. It wasn't surprising. After all, he had been your favorite character in both the book and the movies back home in your own world, but he was even more amazing in person. 

Of course, you didn't have the courage to tell him how you felt under normal conditions. But after way too much Elven wine and an energetic song and dance from Bofur, you were feeling extremely brave and uninhibited. Unfortunately, intoxication combined with a lifelong love of Disney movies lead to a very interesting confession. 

You were currently standing on a dinner table in Rivendell, completely surrounded by Dwarves, singing an embarrasingly emotional rendition of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" (Timon and Pumbaa version of course, complete with all four character parts and the chorus). You pointed at Thorin at all the appropriate places and even closed your eyes during the deepest parts. Everyone there stared at you like it was a violent accident that they just couldn't tear their eyes away from. 

When you finished, you began to bow to your audience, but passed out before you could straighten back up. Thorin had to pick you up and carry you to your bed for the night. After setting you down, he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and whispered, "Goodnight, my crazy woman. For your sake I hope you don't remember any of this in the morning."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You awoke in the morning with a splitting headache to find Kili sitting on the edge of the bed smoking his pipe.

"I was beginning to think you weren't ever going to wake up," he said far too cheerfully and loudly given the circumstances. Groaning, you grabbed your head and gave him a look that begged him to have mercy.

"Sorry," he replied sheepishly.

"What happened?" you asked, not having any memory of the previous evening's events.

Kili smiled wide and said, "I was hoping you'd ask. That's why I've been sitting here for 2 hours waiting for you to wake up."

The story didn't start out so bad at first. When he mentioned dinner with the elves, it jogged some memories of eating and the dwarves complaining about the food. But as he continued, the horror took root and began to grow inside of you. By the end you wanted to bury yourself six feet down and hope that no one ever found you, least of all Thorin.

"Please tell me you made that up," you pleaded.

"Even my imagination can't come up with anything that good."

The sudden knock on the door caused you to remember your headache. "Come in," you called weakly. Much to your dismay, Thorin himself walked through the door. He frowned when he saw Kili sitting next to you on the bed.

"Kili, let me speak to y/n alone."

Kili turned and gave you a wink before practically skipping out of the door. Now that you were all alone with Thorin, you became even more embarrassed. You knew your face was bright red and you were terrified at the thought of what he might be here to say to you. You watched as he took Kili's place beside you on the bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"I-I'm okay."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Really? As much as you had to drink, I would have thought you would have been feeling quite dreadful right about now."

"Yeah, I um, I guess I am." It was almost impossible for you to look at him given the situation, and his physical closeness wasn't helping any either.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked.

"No, I'm fine. Really."

A few moments of awkward silence passed between the two of you. You glanced at him long enough to notice that he was twisting at his hands and stating at them, almost like he was nervous. "More like uncomfortable," you thought to yourself.

"Thorin," you began. "I'm sorry about last night. I don't know what came over me. I acted like an idiot. I hope you can forgive me."

The awkward silence crept back in, but your thoughts were racing. You couldn't push away the fear that he was going to kick you out of the company over this.

"Did you mean it?" he asked after awhile.

"Of course I meant it. I'm very sorry for how I acted. I never meant to embarrass you."

"No, I meant did you mean the words you dedicated to me last night?"

You desperately wanted to lie to him and say that you were drunk and none of it meant anything, but in spite of how much you wanted to, you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

Staring at your hands, you muttered, "Yeah, I meant them."

You were surprised when you saw his large, strong hands reach over to hold yours. Looking up, you saw that his body was turned towards you and he was trying to look into your eyes.

"You asked me a question, and my answer is yes. I could feel the love between us last night, just as I can feel it every night." Then he leaned forward and placed a strong kiss on your unsuspecting lips. Perhaps you should have been worried that you might taste like alcohol and morning breath, but you were so lost in his touch and his presence that you couldn't think of anything else. When you parted, you heard him sigh contentedly.

"I love you, Thorin Oakenshield," you whispered.

"I love you too. Will you promise me something, y/n?"

"Anything."

"No more drunken serenading," he said with a chuckle.

Smiling you replied, "Afraid I can't make any promises on that one, considering how well it worked out for me."

"You're wrong. It worked out well for us both."


	4. Sick with a Cold

"Ah choo!" 

"Bless you, y/n. Are you getting sick?" Bilbo asked, the concern evident in his voice. 

"No, of course not, it's just allergies. Nothing to worry about." 

Actually, you felt terribly ill. Riding through the pouring down rain all day had you experiencing the beginning symptoms of a very nasty cold, but you weren't about to show any weakness in front of the company. You were relieved when the rain finally stopped and Thorin decided it was time to bed down for the night. All you wanted to do was curl up in a blanket beside the fire. 

You felt so poorly that you hardly even touched your dinner. A fact which made Bilbo inquire as to your health for a second time. His concern truly was touching. As soon as you wrapped your blanket around you and lay down, you fell into a restless sleep full of unpleasant dreams. 

Sometime in the night, you awoke with an excruciating headache, a terrible sore throat, and covered in sweat. You suddenly became aware of an almost suffocating weight covering you from your chin all the way down to your feet. 

"Do you think that's enough blankets yet, Oin?" Kili asked while draping what must have been the fifth or sixth one onto you. 

"That will be enough for now. We have to make sure she doesn't get chilled." 

"I don't think that's going to happen," you said weakly. "It is warm enough under here now to bake a chicken." 

"I knew you were getting sick," Bilbo said, putting his cool hand on your hot forehead. "You're burning up. But don't worry, we're going to take care of you until you get better. You won't even have to lift a finger." 

"We can't sit around waiting for me to get better. We have a tight schedule to stick to." 

Thorin squated beside you to give you a sip of water to ease your throat. "We can spare a few days. Besides, I'm not going to chance you getting worse, so stop protesting." 

Convinced there was no sense in arguing the point any further, you decided to just rest and let it run its course. Over the next few days, the company pampered and waited on you like you were royalty. Kili and Fili wouldn't let you get up and brought you everything you needed. Bilbo held your head in his lap for hours at a time, just talking to you and stroking your hair. Thorin checked on you dozens of times per day. Bofur even went so far as to insist on spoon-feeding your soup to you. For the first time ever, you were actually sad about getting better.


	5. Baking Part 2

You were sitting on the Elven terrace, with Dwalin on one side and Bofur on the other, watching the dwarves heartily enjoy the second batch of cupcakes you had made for them, when Thorin approached the merry group. 

"Where did you get those?" He asked in his usual gruff tone. 

"Y/n made them!" Dwalin exclaimed, clamping his strong arm tightly around your shoulders. "Try one! They are delicious!"

Thorin merely looked at you with disdain, grunted, and headed back in the direction he had come from. 

You propped your chin in your hand and asked, to no one in particular, "He hates me, doesn't he?" 

"Nah, lassie." Dwalin began. "Thorin is just slow to trust, and even slower to care. He does not hate you though." 

Dwalin's eyes were full of kindness when he spoke to you. Sitting there looking at him now, it was hard to believe you had ever found him intimidating. 

You stood up and brushed the crumbs off your pants before saying, "Well boys, I'm going to let all of you settle down for the night. Why you want to camp out here is beyond me, but sleep well anyway." Bilbo and you, except for Gandalf of course, were the only ones who had accepted Lord Elrond's offer of a room to stay in, much to his dismay. In the short amount of time it had taken them to set up camp on the terrace, they had already destroyed several pieces of furniture and started a fire that would surely leave marks on the floor. But the dwarves were stubborn and they were going to do whatever they wanted to do. 

You headed to your room, changed clothes, opened a window to let the cool night air in, crawled into bed, and quickly fell into a deep sleep. A few hours later, you awoke to find your room freezing cold. Apparently, the temperature outside had dropped quite a bit. Your thoughts jumped to your little cold dwarves sleeping out there. You threw on your coat and boots and left to go check on them. Creeping as quietly as a mouse so as to not disturb them, the first thing you noticed was that their fire had died. All of them, even Thorin, seemed to be shivering in their sleep. Poor little Kili and Fili were cuddled up together like a litter of puppies. As quietly as you had come, you snuck back inside and managed to find a closet full of extra blankets. Grabbing as many as you could manage, you carried them back out to your sleeping dwarves and covered them up one by one. When you were done, you simply went back to your room to try to get a few more hours of shut eye. 

"Hey," a half-asleep Fili said. "Where did these come from?" It was morning and the company was awaking to find that they had been visited during the night. 

"Maybe a fairy brought them?" Kili asked, rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands. 

"A fairy, my foot." You said appearing next to the group, hands propped on your hips. 

Bofur had gotten all tangled up during the night and was trying to kick his way out when you gently scolded him. "You better not mess those up. I don't have the money to pay Lord Elrond back for damaged blankets." 

"You brought these to us?" Thorin asked. Actually from his tone it was difficult to tell whether it was a question or a statement, but you decided to answer anyway to be on the safe side. "It was cold, so I...uh...came to check on all of you. Then I brought you some blankets." Thorin wasn't scolding you yet so you continued on. "It was no trouble, really. Easier than having to defrost 13 dwarfsicles would have been anyway." 

Thorin chuckled in response. No wait, Thorin doesn't chuckle. Maybe you had imagined it? 

"I appreciate it greatly, y/n. Thank you." He was smiling at you. Thorin never smiles at you. He normally tries to act like you don't exist. 

Turning his attention to the company and returning to his normal demeanor, he said "Fold these blankets up and return them to where ever y/n found them. We won't reward her kindness by making her clean up after us as well." 

You couldn't stop yourself from smiling. Maybe you were going to get through to ole Thorin Grumpyshield after all.


	6. Thorin x Reader x Kili

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off this imagine from imaginexhobbit: Imagine being in love with Thorin, but him deciding that he is too old for you, so he makes you marry Kili because he thinks you'll have more chance of being happy.

The events that landed you on the path you currently walked were now a matter of history and legend.  In merely a few moments, you were to become the first princess of the recently reclaimed Kingdom of Erebor, wife of Kili, and niece to Thorin son of Thrain. You knew that when this story was told to future generations, all of it would seem so simple and joyous. There was only one other person who knew the truth, and he, like yourself, would go to the grave with it.

You had travelled with the company of Thorin Oakenshield since its inception. By means of brave acts committed out of pure loyalty and devotion, you had inadvertently forged a place for yourself in Middle-Earth's history. Almost miraculously, you had also garnered the undying love and affection of the rightful King Under the Mountain. It was a love that you returned with a nearly unmatched intensity. At his request, however, the feelings between you were kept a secret from everyone. 

As the days passed, a darkness seemed to find its way into Thorin's life. Erebor was prospering and all was as it should be, yet he was sullen and withdrawn. He would sit on his thrown late into the night, apparently lost in his own thoughts. On one such night, you went to him, confident you would have the privacy needed to speak to him openly. Upon entering the throne room, you went to kneel before him and began carressing his cheek with your hand. 

"Thorin, what is troubling you so?"

Gently, he took your hand in his and kissed the palm of it. His expression was pained and his eyes held a sadness you had never seen before. 

"You are what is troubling me, my love." 

Shocked, you pulled back a bit. What could you have possibly done wrong? 

"My king, have I done something to displease you?"

"No, my lady. It is not your fault. It is mine."  
He leaned forward and took your face in both of his hands. 

"You are the light of my life. The sun of my days and the moon of my nights. But I have let my love for you blind me to the truth...that I will not be able to provide you with the happiness you deserve. I am far too old. In time, I will be incapable of protecting you the way a good husband should, and eventually you will be left alone. I will not be selfish and do that to you." 

"Thorin," you said, tears beginning to fall against your will. "I am grown and completely capable of making my own decisions in such matters. I love you and only you. There will never be anyone else."

He smiled sweetly but sadly at you before saying, "You deserve a chance at happiness, and a normal life. That's why I want you to marry Kili. You will become a princess, eventually bear children, and be loved long into your old age." 

"But Kili does not even love me, at least not as you do."

"That is true. But he will in time. Please trust me, and forgive me." 

You wanted more than anything to fight him on this. To keep it up until he saw things your way, but you knew what you had to do. Never had you doubted his love for you, even now you did not. Just as he loved you enough to give you up, you loved him enough to let him. 

"I will do what you ask of me, my king...my love." 

Time eventually showed that Thorin was right. Kili and you began to love each other in a way that only years of life and children shared together could bring. Nothing ever made you truly stop loving Thorin though. He treated your children as if they were his own and was always there for your family. 

On the day of his funeral, Kili wrapped his arm around your waist and said, "We owe all of our happiness to him. He always seemed to know the right thing to do, even when no one else did. It always made me sad that he never fell in love. Never had what we have. He deserved it."

Resting your head on his shoulder, you smiled faintly and replied, "He did fall in love. He fell in love with us."


	7. Special Delivery in the Woodland Realm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off this imagine from imaginexhobbit on tumblr: imagine being secretly pregnant with Thorin's child and when the Mirkwood Elves capture you and the rest of the company, you go into labor

You'd been beating yourself up over it for months. How could you have let yourself get pregnant? Even though Thorin was both your husband and the father of your unborn child, you hadn't told him or anyone else about your condition. You knew he would have made you stay behind, and there was no way that you were going to do that. He needed you on this quest, even if he was too stubborn to admit it. 

Miraculously, you had been able to conceal the pregnancy from every person in the company, except for one: Bilbo. He'd caught you in the middle of one of your bouts of morning sickness, and after much pleading on your part, agreed to keep your secret. It was comforting to have someone to confide in and feel close to, especially since the entire ordeal had caused you to distance yourself from Thorin. You didn't want to chance him finding out after all. 

Not being one to vocalize his emotions, Thorin simply brewed in his anger and his jealousy. At first, he thought that the hardships of the journey were simply taking a toll on you. Travelling all day and not having any privacy at night were bound to have an affect on things. But when you started spending all of your time with Bilbo, sitting with and whispering to him by the fire, he became convinced that he was losing his woman to the burglar. It caused him to snap at you over little things in a way that were uncharacteristic of him. In these moments, you wanted to break down and tell him everything, but you had promised yourself that you wouldn't and you kept that promise. 

Now you sat all alone in a cell in the dungeons of the Woodland Realm. Thorin was upstairs with the elf king, probably spitting in his eye if you knew your husband. There was no way that Thorin was going to accept any offer of Thranduil's. You knew this as well as you knew your own name. The only way the dwarves would be getting out would be if Bilbo came and rescued them. 

Leaning your head back against the cold, stone wall, you rubbed your hand across your belly. The pain had started earlier that day, and the incident with the spiders hadn't helped any. There was no chance of you keeping this a secret any longer. As best as you could, you made your way to the cell door and called out for a guard as loud as you could. The dwarves stopped their attempts to break out of their cells to ask you what was wrong. Although the concern in their voices was evident, you ignored them in favor of continuing to scream out for a guard. 

When one finally arrived he asked, "What do you want?" 

"Bring that girl elf to me."

"I do not answer to you, prisoner."

"Listen here," you said, trying to sound as tough as possible. "I'm about to have a baby right here in this cell, so unless you want to deal with it, go get the girl elf." 

The horror at the idea clearly visible in his eyes, he turned and hurried up the steps leading out of the dungeons. Moments later, he returned with the female elf and she entered your cell. 

"My name is Tauriel," she said. "How far along are you?"

"I've been in pain all day. I've never done this before, Tauriel." For the first time, you let the fear that was buried deep inside of you show. 

"Neither have I," she said, smiling weakly. "But I will take you to someone who can help."

After speaking in her native tongue to the guard, he rushed over, picked you up, and carried you out of the cell. 

"Stop!" you yelled as he carried you past Balin's cell. "I have to tell him something." 

Turning your head to look at him you said, "Tell Thorin what's happening, but don't let him wait for me. This quest is more important than anything. Tell him I love him and that I'm sorry."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sat in the clean, soft bed holding your new baby boy. He was absolutely beautiful. In fact, he was the most beautiful sight you had ever laid eyes on. The special moment was interrupted by a knock on the door. 

"Come in."

You were shocked to see none other than Thranduil himself walk through the door. Instinctively, you held your precious bundle closer to you. 

Genuinely smiling, he said, "Do not worry. I mean you no harm." Then he moved over and sat on the edge of your bed. His eyes seemed gentle as he studied you and your child. 

"Have you chosen a name for him?" 

"Not yet."

"I remember the day my own son was born..." His eyes took on a faraway look as his voice drifted into silence. 

Coming back to the moment he said, "I came to tell you that the dwarves, including your husband, have escaped." 

"That's very interesting," you said, trying to suppress a smile. So Bilbo had come through.

"I also wanted to tell you that you and your son are welcome to stay here as long as you wish."

"In the dungeons you mean?" You snapped. You couldn't help it. You were Thorin's wife after all. 

"No, I mean here. You will have as much freedom as my people."

"Why?" You asked suspiciously. "Why would you let a human who is Thorin's wife live freely amongst your people?"

"It is no secret that I dislike Oakenshield. But it takes a great deal of strength and courage to go through the things you have gone through, particularly in that condition. I may not want Thorin Oakenshield to be king, but even I must admit that he chose a queen of the highest quality." 

Rising from the bed and moving towards the door he added, "I will take my leave now. Good day, my lady." 

Once you were alone with your son again, you said to him, "We don't have any choice but to stay here for now. But I promise that you will meet your father soon. I swear it to you on my life." 

And you were not one to break your promises.


	8. Bachrlorette Party

You made your way through the halls of Erebor with an unwilling Tauriel in tow. Ever since her engagement to Kili, she'd been living with the rest of you in the Lonely Mountain. Now, you were dragging her along with you in search of both her fiancee and yours. Finally, you found them lounging around doing absolutely nothing productive.

"Working hard, are we boys?" you asked.

"Oh look," Kili began. "It's the woman I love, and you." 

The truth was that you and Kili were really best friends, and he was thrilled that you were engaged to marry his brother. But if the two of you weren't sassing each other then it would mean that one or both of you was deathly ill or worse. 

Ignoring his snarky remark, you said, "We came to inform the two of you that we are going out to Dale tonight. We are going to have a double bachelorrette party."

The brothers exchanged confused glances before Fili asked, "What kind of party,dear?"

"Can we come?!" Kili piped in. "I love parties!"

"No, you can't. It is a kind of party that women back home throw for a female friend who is getting married, and the men are not allowed."

Kili and Fili turned their attention to Tauriel who shrugged. "This is her idea. Do not ask me."

"There's only one problem with your plan, y/n," Fili began cautiously. "You and Tauriel don't exactly have any female friends."

"Well it can just be the two of us then."

Kili broke out into laughter and said, "You could invite Bard's girls. I'm sure a couple of kids would really liven things up."

His laughter came to an abrupt end when you walked over and smacked the back of his head.

"Tauriel, go put on your hottest outfit. We're going out."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later, you and the red-headed elf were sitting in a tavern in the newly rebuilt Dale giggling and having the time of your lives. Tauriel seemed to be handling her alcohol much better than you were though. It didn't surprise you. 

"Damn elves have to be perfect at everything," you thought to yourself. 

"So Tauriel, I have to know. Is Kili a growler?"

She choked on her drink in response.

"I just totally see him as a growler. Like, I don't even know why. But, I guess all guys have their weird little quirks. Fili is like, totally insatiable, but let's not get into that. Would you like to dance?" 

Laughing she said, "There is no music, y/n."   
"We'll make our own!" And with that, you led her to an open spot on the floor and started spinning her around. A few moments later, the two of you were approached by a slightly drunken man who was trying to get Tauriel to dance with him.

"Hold up!" you said. "I laid eyes on her first, and we're busy dancing here."

He was persistent, however, and tried to wrap his arms around her waist from behind. In response, you grabbed a nearby bottle and broke it over his head, causing him to collapse onto the floor. "No one steals my dance partner!"

Then you grabbed her hand and another nearby bottle, and proceeded to run out the door, dragging her behind you. 

After you two finally stopped running, she said "Y/n, I think we really need to be getting home."

"Not yet, there is one thing we haven't done yet that a bachelorrette party is incomplete without. Follow me." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Y/n, Tauriel, what are you two doing here this time of night?"

"Hey sexy dragon-slayer," you said, slurring your words and propping on the doorframe of Bard's house for support. "We are having a party, and we need a stripper. So show me your arrow, booow-maan!" 

After pushing your way past him and into his house, you turned around and smacked him on the butt. He stared at you as if you had lost your mind. 

"She is a little bit...gone," was the only explanation Tauriel offered. 

You managed to make your way to a chair, still working on the bottle in your hand. 

"I think it is time I take you home," Bard said.

"How about I take you home? Wait...we are already at your home. Well that makes it easy." 

Bard walked over to you, snatched you up, and threw you over his shoulder.

"Woo-hoo! I'm getting hands-on action! Usually you have to pay extra for that!" 

You passed out sometime during the trip home. The next morning, you woke up with a massive headache to find Fili sitting beside you on the bed. 

"Good morning, dear," he said. "Tauriel said you had a good time last night. I'm glad. You must have had an awful lot to drink though. Bard had to bring you home."

"Bard? What did he say?" you asked, unfortunately remembering every detail from the previous night. 

"Oh, not much. Let me get your breakfast. You can eat in bed this morning."

Then he leaned over and gave you a kiss and a smile. "I love you, y/n."

"I love you too, Fili."

Then he got up and started towards the door. "Oh I just remembered. He did say something about you still owing him for 'hands-on action." 

He gave you a devilish smirk and said, "let me get that breakfast." 

After he was gone, you threw the blankets over your head in exasperation. If Kili found about this, you'd never hear the end of it.


	9. Special Delivery in the Woodland Realm Part 2

You were surprised when Thranduil came to see you for a second time in the same day. He wasn't his normal regal self as he had been earlier though. This time he was obviously angry and stressed. He sat on the edge of your bed, massaging the bridge of his nose with his long, white fingers. 

"Tauriel has taken off after your dwarves," he informed you.

"But why?"

"Apparently, she is fond of that young dark-haired one. My fool of a son has followed her against my orders because he is fond of her." 

You couldn't help but smirk. Your nephew had always had a way with the ladies. 

Thranduil was now eyeing your son in his basket beside you. "May I hold him?"

At first, you were hesitant. He was an enemy after all, right? You'd heard Thorin go on and on about him enough anyway. But he'd been good to you so far, so you agreed.

You watched as he lifted your son and bounced him in his arms. He was speaking softly to him in elvish. 

"I named him Thor," you volunteered. 

"An unusual name."

"Not as unusual as Thran-du-il," you said, sounding out each syllable with a smirk. You were shocked when it earned a rare laugh from the elven king. 

Growing serious again he said, "Enjoy these moments with him. They are fleeting."

Then he placed Thor back into his basket and looked at you. "You remind me greatly of someone I used to know."

"Someone good?" you asked.

"Someone wonderful." Then he bid you goodbye, whispered something else to the baby, and left your room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thranduil awoke you early the next morning. "We are leaving for Dale."

"But Dale is deserted." 

"Not anymore. The dragon attacked Laketown last night. Rumor has it a man named Bard was the one who destroyed it. The people have moved to Dale. We will be taking supplies to them. I assumed you would want to go."

Of course you wanted to go. Anything that would get you and Thor closer to Erebor, and hopefully Thorin and your friends. 

Even though you were still weak from the delivery, you tried to hop out of bed to get dressed. Thranduil stopped you though by placing a hand on your shoulder. "I will send someone to assist you."

"No, I can manage."

"I will send someone anyway," he said with a smile. 

After the elf maiden had helped you dress and get the baby ready, she led you to a cart full of supplies that you would be riding in. Several minutes later, the elves were prepared and the cart began its bumpy journey to Dale. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The utter excitement of the people all around you at the arrival of the supplies filled the air with an electrifying energy. Leaning over the side of the wagon, you spotted Thranduil speaking to someone you assumed must be Bard. He looked like the kind of man who could shoot down a dragon anyway. 

The pair approached you, and Thranduil took Thor in one arm and helped you out of the cart with the other. The dark-haired stranger addressed you, "I'm Bard, and you are?"

"Y/n, wife of Thorin." 

You felt Thranduil's arm tense against you, but you were focused on the look on Bard's face. You'd seen that look before. It meant he'd met Thorin and the encounter had been...less than pleasant. It didn't surprise you. In spite of how much you loved your husband, you weren't blind to his faults. 

Chuckling you said, "Don't worry. I'm far less obstinate and a great deal more charming than Thorin."

"Then we should get along quite well," Bard said with a smile. "Come with me, I'll let my daughter help you with the baby."

He introduced you to his oldest daughter, who took you to a place where you and Thor could rest. "So you met my husband Thorin?" 

"I don't know which one that was," Sigrid stated. 

"About middle-aged, dark hair, leader of the group, never smiles?"

"Oh yes, I know which one you're referring to now."

"So they all arrived at your house safely then?"

"Not exactly. One of the younger ones, the one with dark hair, he had an injury. But the lady elf fixed him up nicely. He and some of the others left Laketown with us."

"You mean the company split up?"

"Yes,  the young blonde, the older gentleman who couldn't hear well, and the one with the funny hat stayed behind. But once we reached the shore, I believe they took off towards the mountain." 

You were relieved to learn that your nephews, Bofur, and Oin survived the dragon's wrath, but you still didn't know the fate of the others and that frightened you. Sigrid brought you something to eat, which you picked at a bit. After that, most of your day was spent taking care of Thor and just waiting around. 

Around nightfall, you heard what sounded like the elvish soldiers mobilizing. Leaving Thor in Sigrid's care, you left your tent to see what was going on. You saw silhouettes and heard familiar voices coming from a nearby tent, and without permission, entered to find Gandalf, Bilbo, Thranduil, and Bard. 

"Bilbo!" you exclaimed while pulling your friend into the tightest of hugs.

"Y/n, I assumed you were with the dwarves!" Gandalf said across the room, confused but clearly happy to see you. 

"She got held up," Bilbo answered for you. "How are you and the baby?"

"Baby? What baby?" Gandalf asked.

"Oh, I had a baby," you stated very matter of factly. 

"Back to the issue at hand," Thranduil interrupted. 

You watched at a distance as Bilbo revealed the arkenstone and told how much Thorin valued it and how he would be willing to cooperate in order to get it back. 

When the meeting was over, you grabbed Bilbo by the arm and said "I want you to meet someone."

You led him back to your tent and introduced him to Thor. While Bilbo held him, he caught you up on everything that had happened. 

"I can't wait for Thorin and the others to meet little Thor," you said after he had finished.

Bilbo's expression changed and he cleared his throat before saying, "I don't think that's such a good idea right now, y/n."

"Why not?"

"Thorin isn't himself now. He's not eating or sleeping, and he's becoming increasingly paranoid. And there's something else you should know." 

He wrinkled his nose in the way he always does when he's uncomfortable. "I'm afraid he might hurt you."

"Thorin would never hurt me!" You were shocked that Bilbo could even think such a thing. 

"He tried to kill me, y/n! He didn't because the others talked him down. Now he's become so obsessed with the gold that he hasn't been focused on it for awhile, but your showing up could change that." 

"What are you talking about? What's happening?" You felt more afraid now than you ever had in your life. You were worried for Thorin, Bilbo, and of course little Thor. 

"He thinks that he isn't...the baby's father. He believes that I am."

You were shocked and appalled. After everything you'd done for Thorin, how could he honestly believe that you'd betray him. 

"It doesn't make sense," you said weakly. "The math doesn't even make sense. I didn't even know you that far back."

"You conceived shortly before this quest began. He doesn't know that the baby was born full-term. It would be possible. I mean, if we had...you know, and the baby was born a little early."

Tears began to stream down your cheeks. "How could he think I'd hurt him like that?"

Bilbo scooted over and began comforting you. "You can't think like that right now. It has nothing to do with anything you've done, so don't blame yourself."

"It isn't just me though! He doesn't trust you either and you've been loyal to him too," you said, the tears coming faster. 

"Not as loyal as you think," he said, averting his eyes. "He's a very perceptive dwarf." 

You were about to ask him what he meant, but his body language was telling you everything you needed to know. Thorin wasn't the type to be jealous for absolutely no reason at all. It was triggered by something real. 

You wanted to comfort Bilbo in some way. You knew him well enough to know he wouldn't develop feelings for a married woman if he could help it. He'd never tried anything inappropriate; he'd only ever tried to be the best friend possible to you. Neither of you could help that Thorin accused you both of doing something that had never happened. 

Leaning over, you rested your head on his shoulder and wrapped one arm around him. "I'm sorry, Bilbo. I'm sorry for dragging you into my mess." 

"No, I'm sorry," he said. "I should have hidden my feelings better. Now I'm just ruining things between the two of you without even meaning to." 

Looking at baby Thor's happy little face, you suddenly felt a surge of hope. No matter what happened next, you had a wonderful son and plenty of friends by your side to make it all worthwhile. Speaking both to Bilbo and Thor you said, "Everything is going to be alright. As long as we all stick together, everything will be alright."


	10. Worth It Bilbo x Reader

"Thank you again for taking care of me, y/n. You really shouldn't though, you know? I would hate for you to get sick because of me," a very congested Bilbo said for about the hundredth time. 

He'd put up quite the fight when you volunteered to tend to him. He didn't want to selfishly expose you to his germs, but you hadn't taken no for an answer and he was honestly extremely grateful. 

"I'm happy to, Bilbo. I know you would do the same for me," you said as you handed him a hot cup of tea to help soothe his sore throat. As he sipped on it, you started tucking blankets around the temporarily bed-ridden hobbit. 

"Here, let me check to see if you have a fever," you said as you leaned forward to put your cheek to his. That was the way your mother had always done it when you were a child because she claimed it was more accurate than using your hand. When your cheek touched his, you felt Bilbo jump slightly at the surprisingly intimate contact. 

"You're burning up," you said, standing upright. Bilbo's face was an adorable shade of red from the touch. He loved the care and attention you were giving him, even if it meant you were seeing him at his worse.

"I feel dreadful," he said before coughing into his handkerchief.

"I know something that will help you feel better. I'll be back soon. Try to take a nap while I'm gone." Then you kissed him on the cheek and headed out his bedroom door. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Did you get any sleep?" you asked as you entered Bilbo's room to find him sitting up in bed. 

"A little. Where did you go?"

"To get you some medicine of sorts. Drink this, but not too fast. It'll help you feel a bit better," you said as you handed him the largest mug you could find in all of Bag End. 

He took a sip before he started coughing again. "Y/n, what is this?!"

"The strongest alcohol the Shire has to offer. It'll lift your spirits," you said while placing the bottle of alcohol on his bedside table. 

"I don't think this is a sound medical practice," he said, peering into the mug with a frown. 

"Oh, it'll help better than anything else will. Now, work on that while I go fix you some soup." 

After you'd finished cooking his soup and preparing his tray, you carried it down the hall from the kitchen to his room. When you entered the bedroom, you found him lying across the bed, flopped over on his side. 

"Y/n!" he said before hiccuping. "You came back! I was beginning to worry." Your eyebrows almost disappeared when he started giggling hysterically. 

You moved over to his bedside table and, setting the tray down, picked up the bottle and shook it. "You drank that much in the short time I was gone? I told you to go slowly."

"I know, but it really does help. I feel -hiccup- wonderful." 

"Here, you need to eat something." Then you proceeded to pull him up into a sitting position and started spoon-feeding him. 

"This tastes very good! You are an excellent cook, y/n. Is there anything you aren't good at?" he asked with a big smile. 

Laughing you said, "probably quite a few things, but let's not focus on the negative."

"Hmm, I doubt it. You're fantastic, talented, smart, kind, beautiful...it's no wonder I'm in love with you." 

You almost dropped the spoon when he said that. Pausing, you tried to think of how to respond. You were crazy about Bilbo, but you had no idea he felt the same. Of course he didn't. He couldn't. 

"You're drunk, Bilbo. You don't know what you're talking about."

"No!" he said, holding up his index finger and waving it around in the air dramatically. "I mean every word. I'm just too much of a...of a wimp to tell you the rest of the time," he finished with a sad-sounding sniffle. 

The look on his face was breaking your heart. You helped him lie down and you tucked the covers tightly around him. "I love you too, Bilbo Baggins. I'll see you in the morning." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good morning!" you said as you opened Bilbo's bedroom door carrying his cup of tea.

"Ow! Not so loud," he was holding his head in his hands and looked none too happy about the noisey greeting. 

"Sorry," you whispered as you handed him his tea. You checked his fever and noticed that it had gone down dramatically from the day before. "Well, I think you're getting better."

"I think I'm dying," he groaned. 

"That's from going overboard on my medicine last night. I um...know of a cure for that." 

"No! No! No! I don't want anymore of your cures. I -" he was cut off by you placing your lips on his. When you pulled back, he said "That is a very medically sound cure. I must be quite the charmer when I'm drunk," he said blushing and laughing nervously.

"Oh definitely, but I prefer you like this." 

"All of the things I said last night...I um meant them," he said.

"So did I." Then you leaned forward and placed another kiss on his now smiling lips. After a moment, he pulled back and said, "You're going to catch my cold if we keep this up."

"It'll be totally worth it."


	11. Apologies and Lessons Learned ThorinxReader

"I am not moving another step until you apologize to Bilbo," you said, sitting down on the ground and crossing your arms in defiance. 

"What are you going on about?" Thorin gruffly asked as he stomped over to where you were seated. 

"Y/n, this isn't worth it," Bilbo whispered loudly towards you. 

"It's a matter of principle, Bilbo." Then directing your attention to Thorin you added, "You were exceptionally rude to Bilbo, and he and I expect an apology immediately."

"I don't expect anything," Bilbo said, crumbling under Thorin's menacing glare. 

"Stand firm, Bilbo. Now isn't the time to falter. Like I said before, I won't budge an inch until you apologize."

"This is childish. Get up now. Do you honestly think yourself so invaluable to this quest that I would not leave you behind?" 

"You would, but they won't," you said motioning towards the rest of the company. "Besides, they agree with me. You have been even more foul-tempered than usual the past few days. Isn't that right boys?" 

The dwarves averted their eyes from Thorin. Some were kicking small stones nervously while others scratched the backs of their necks, but all of them muttered in agreement with you. 

Thorin turned his attention back to you. "So you want an apology? Fine." He crouched down until he was eye-level with you. "I apologize...for what I am about to do." Then he snatched you up off the ground and roughly threw you over his shoulder. You kicked, wiggled, and fought him with all your might, but he just tightened his grip on you.

"Oh I'm going to get you back for this, Thorin Oakenshield!" you screamed. 

"I'm sure you will try. Might as well get me back for this too while you're at it," he said before smacking you hard on the bottom. "Now stop squirming! Everyone move out!" 

You continued to fight him for some time, until you finally grew tired and gave up. 

"Aren't you sick of carrying me by now?" 

"I am teaching you a valuable lesson."

"Oh, and what is that?" 

"That in a battle of wills," he said, hoisting you off of his shoulder and back onto the ground, "no one beats a dwarf." 

"And what lesson was the spanking supposed to teach me?" you asked, rubbing your backside and remembering the sting of his hand hitting your bottom.

He leaned close to you and whispered, "That was for my own enjoyment. And I won't apologize for that either," he added with a wink. 

Then he walked on, leaving you standing there in amazement. "Perhaps," you thought to yourself, "I'll need a few more demonstrations before I let that lesson sink in completely."


	12. Bard x Reader

"Well well, good morning, y/n."

The slimey voice of Alfrid caused you to groan internally. He had been pursuing you like a hound on a scent lately, and even though you had less than any interest in the greasy git, you knew that he could cause a lot of trouble for you and your family if you were obviously rude to him. Instead, you tried your best to dissuade him by acting distant.

"Morning," was your simple reply. 

"Doing your family's shopping, are we?" he asked.

Wow, he was brilliant. As if it wasn't obvious by your presence at the market and the act of filling your basket with fruits and vegetables.

"You know, a lovely woman such as yourself could do quite well in life, with the right husband of course," he said as he reached out to touch your arm. Without thinking, you jumped back and collided with an immovable object behind you. 

"Good morning, darling. I thought I'd find you here this morning." You'd have recognized Bard's voice anywhere. It was only the deepest, sexiest voice you'd ever heard in your life. You were shocked, however, when he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist and placed a kiss on your cheek. The feeling of his soft lips and scruffy facial hair against your skin sent a chill through your whole body. You and Bard had been friends for years, and you had always assumed that that was the extent of his feelings for you. But if he was willing to play this game to help you out, then you were going to go along with it. 

"Hey honey," you responded as if it was the most natural thing in the world. 

"Darling? Honey?" Alfrid asked, clearly looking put off.

"Of course," Bard replied. "Didn't y/n tell you? She and I are betrothed."

"Oh, well...congratulations," Alfrid said, looking fouler than ever as he left the two of you alone.

"Thank you, Bard. I really appreciate that. I just couldn't find a way to get rid of him, without him making trouble for my family that is," you said as Bard moved in front of you and started examining the apples that were for sale.

"I don't know why you're thanking me," he said without looking at you. "That was the least romantic statement of intentions of all time."

Now you were feeling even more shocked than you had when he had taken you in his arms. "In-intentions?"

Finally looking at you, he said "You're young and very beautiful, and I know you could do much better than a poor, widowed bargeman who already has three hungry mouths to feed, but-"

You cut him off by placing your hand on his mouth. "I love you too, Bard. I always have."

He turned the hand that was still over his mouth around so that he could kiss your knuckles. Then he lifted his other hand up and stroked your cheek gently. As he did so, the market and crowds around you seemed to momentarily disappear. There was nothing in the world but the two of you. 

"We should go speak to your father immediately," he whispered.

"And tell your children," you replied, causing him to smile sweetly at you. 

He paid for a single apple, wrapped his arm around your waist and began leading you away from the market and towards your house. As you walked, he kept tossing the apple up into the air and catching it with his free hand. After a few minutes he turned to you and said with a smirk, "For all of Alfrid's faults I have to give him one thing, he's got great taste in women."


	13. Special Delivery in the Woodland Realm Part 3

You awoke early the next morning to the sounds of elves and men preparing to leave the city. Looking around, you found that Bilbo had left sometime during the night. You gathered up Thor and made your way out of your sleeping quarters, hoping to find Bilbo, Gandalf, or Thranduil. Instead, Bard was the first person you encountered that you knew well enough to confront.

"We're going with you," you said.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, my lady."

"Look, I know Thorin is acting crazy right now, but you're a father so you must understand. If there was anything at all that would bring you back from the brink of madness, would it not be your children?" 

Smiling at you gently he answered, "Alright, you may ride with me."

Suddenly, Thranduil rode up beside you. "I must have a word," he said as he climbed down off of his massive elk. Taking you by the arm, he lead you several yards away from Bard. "You can not go. I will not allow it."

"You aren't going to stop me. Thorin is my husband. It is my duty to protect him and my friends. I must do everything in my power to keep peace."

You were surprised when Thranduil smiled at you sadly. "As I said before, Thorin chose himself a noble queen. Fine, you may go, but you must ride with me. My elk is far more graceful than these horses and will make for a much easier ride considering you have not yet healed. Also, if things do not go well, you must retreat when I tell you to, for your sake and his," he said, motioning to Thor. 

You nodded your agreement and he helped you onto his steed while he held the baby. Then, he climbed on in front of you and the two of you joined Bard and Gandalf at the front of the army. 

The ride from Dale to the Lonely Mountain was much shorter than you would have liked. It didn't give you enough time to think up what you were going to say to Thorin. 

You didn't really listen to anything that was being said in the exchange between your husband and his "adversaries". You were too busy peeking over Thranduil's shoulder in horror at the sight before you. Thorin and the company were dressed in full battle gear. He didn't look anything like the dwarf you knew and loved. Even at that distance, you could tell how much the dragon sickness had changed him. His face and voice held a coldness and a cruelty that you had never seen before. You were brought back to the moment when Bard pulled out the arkenstone. Without warning, you lept off of the elk and screamed "Stop!"

"Y/n, do not do this," you heard Thranduil whisper to you, but you ignored him as you handed Thor up to him. 

Apparently the company had not been able to see you behind the elf's formidable stature, because now they were cheering and calling out to you. All except Thorin and Bilbo. You swallowed and moved closer to the mountain.

"Thorin!" you yelled. "You must stop this madness! You are endangering the lives of our friends and the lives of innocent people who have done you no harm. I have come here to beg you to make peace with them. I have come here to rejoin you, and to introduce you to our child-"

"Do not speak to me of that bastard child, you treacherous wench! I know why you have come! To ridicule me! You have befriended my enemies and made plans with them to steal what is mine! Well I will not be so foolish as to trust you again, traitor!" 

The sharp, deep cut of his words coupled with your physical weakness brought you to your knees in tears. You were conscious of someone moving to your side and placing a hand on your back, but before you could turn your attention to them, your focus was on the new words Thorin was now forming. 

"You! You stole my wife, my arkenstone, and would try to steal my kingdom! I should have killed you long before now!"

Looking up, you saw Thorin desperately trying to attack Bilbo despite the others' efforts to protect him. The only thing that stopped him was Gandalf's booming voice commanding him to release the hobbit. 

"Are you alright?" Your attention was brought back to the elf king crouched beside you. His eyes were full of concern and his hand was still on your back. You managed a weak nod before you were joined by Bilbo asking you the same question. 

Before you could regain your composure, he was distracted by the sight of an approaching dwarven army appearing over the hill to the right of the elves. You watched as Thranduil stood and called one of his soldiers to him. He gave the elf a command in his native language and then rushed back over to your side. "You are ill and do not need to be here any longer. This soldier will take you and the child back to Dale."

"I'm going with her," Bilbo said and Thranduil nodded in agreement. 

Too weak and heartbroken to argue, you let the soldier scoop you up and take you back to the city.


	14. Special Delivery in the Woodland Realm Part 4

The elf had carried you to what he deemed to be the safest location in all of Dale with Bilbo, who was holding Thor, close behind him. 

"What did he say to you?" you finally managed to ask. 

"He told me to protect you, with my life if necessary," he said as he set you down so you could rest. "I will be guarding the door if you need me." 

Once the elf had moved away, Bilbo whispered, "Sounds like Thranduil has grown very fond of you." He said it out of a need to take your mind off of Thorin's words. He'd never seen you break down the way you had earlier, and it honestly frightened him more than anything ever had. 

"Somehow I remind him of his dead wife...the mother of his son." 

Bilbo looked at you with a shocked expression. "He never said it out loud," you added, "but it wasn't hard to guess. Isn't that just the icing on top of my cake of despair?" Once the words were out of your mouth, you started to weep again, this time violently. Bilbo wrapped one arm around you and held you close until you were out of tears.

While you were drying your face, the elf moved over to you. "Something is wrong, my lady. I think the city is being attacked." 

"The dwarves wouldn't attack the city..." Bilbo began, but he stopped when realization hit. "Stay here," he said to you, drawing his sword. "You," he said, now to the elf. "Take care of her." 

"No!" you said, trying to stand but Bilbo pushed you back down. "I'm not letting you go out there alone!" 

"Y/n!" He paused, studying you for a moment before adding, "Do you know why I fell in love with you? It is because of your ability to love others deeply and selflessly, to an extent I never knew was possible. You are not my wife," he let out a small whimper and closed his eyes, trying to regain his composure, "and Thor is not my son. But that does not mean that I don't love you both as if you were, and I'm not going to let anything happen to either one of you. Stay here. Take care of yourself, and take of him. He needs you." 

Then he rushed forward and kissed you quickly on the lips before turning and leaving you alone with Thor, the elf, and your fears. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours passed in the tiny room that you were occupying. Apparently the elf was better than most at choosing hiding places, because no one, enemy or ally, even tried to enter. Not that you blamed them. When you'd first seen the place, it had reminded you of a dark, crowded, ugly broom closet. That must have been what made it safe; no one thought it worth looking in. Luckily, Thor didn't cry at all, in spite of all the noise outside. The only thing that frightened you more than the noise however, was the silence that eventually took its place. It seemed like several more hours passed as you sat in silence, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly, the door opened and the elf quickly drew his blade, but before he could swing, a familiar voice called out "wait!"

"Bilbo!" you yelled as you rushed to hug him. You squeezed him tightly as tears started pouring down your face. "What happened? Where is everyone? Please tell me they're safe."

"We're safe," you heard a deep, kind voice say. Looking up, you saw a blood and dirt covered Thorin watching you. Your Thorin. The one you married. The one you loved. You ran to him and collapsed in his arms. He held you closer than he ever had as he began weeping into your shoulder. 

"I am so sorry, my darling. Can you ever forgive me? I will spend the rest of my days making everything up to you. I promise."

"Oh shut up, you idiot," you cried. "Of course I forgive you." 

You pulled back, drying your eyes and added, "You have to meet someone." You walked back into the grubby closet and emerged a few moments later holding your little bundle. Carrying him over to Thorin, you pulled the blanket back so Thorin could see.

"Thor, this is your father." 

"May I hold him?" Thorin asked quietly. 

You handed him the baby and watched as he stared in amazement. 

"My son," he said. "Our son." The smile Thorin wore on his face made you happier than you had been since the moment you first held little Thor. 

At the sound of movement behind you, you turned to see Bilbo slowly moving away. 

"Thorin," you said, still looking at Bilbo. "I've been thinking that our son needs a godfather."

"A what?" he asked, still beaming at the baby. 

Bilbo had stopped at this point and was looking back at you. 

"A godfather. It is something we do back home. A godfather is a very important and honorable title, usually given to a best friend of the parents or something like that. A godfather is supposed to love and care for the child as if it was his own."

"If that is what you would like, my love, then that is what we shall do."

"I want Bilbo to be Thor's godfather." You saw tears start to swell in Bilbo's eyes. 

You turned your attention to Thorin to find him smiling at you. "I would be honored, if he will accept," he said, looking to Bilbo. 

"Of course I will." Then he walked back over to rejoin the three of you. 

"Thor," Thorin began, "this is your godfather, Bilbo. The bravest and most loyal friend I've ever had." 

You watched as the rest of the company appeared and starting cooing at your little bundle. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a tall, blonde figure staring from nearby. You left your family and made your way over to him. 

"I see everything worked out," he said. 

You nodded your head in agreement. 

"My son will not be returning home with me."

"Oh Thranduil, he didn't-"

"No, he survived the battle. He just wishes to go his own way now." 

Not knowing how else to respond, you said, "Thank you, for everything. You are, and shall always be, my dear friend. You are welcome in Erebor anytime."

Smiling, he replied "I do not think Thorin would like that."

"But I would."

"Then I shall visit, every chance I get. May I tell Thor goodbye...for now?"

"Of course."

You followed him over to your family to find that Balin was now holding your baby. Gently, you took him from your old friend and passed him to your new one. When Thorin went to object, you shot him a look that silenced him instantly. 

You watched as Thranduil whispered something in elvish to little Thor and then kissed him on the forehead. "What did you say to him?" you asked. 

"I told him he has a wonderful mother who loves him more than life, and that if he turns out to be half as good as she, he will be a great example of a man." Then he handed him back to you, bid you farewell, and left for home with the rest of his kin. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"He has Thorin's eyes," Fili said as he rocked Thor in his arms. The entire company, along with Kili's elven beloved and the surviving dwarves from the Iron Hills, had returned to the mountain. At the moment, Tauriel and the company, minus Thorin and Dwalin, were seated together visiting you and passing Thor between them. 

"He looks like a potato," Kili said as he examined the baby over his brother's shoulder.

"Kili!" you exclaimed.

"What? All babies look like potatoes."

"That's what you have to look forward to, Tauriel," you said in reply. 

"If she lasts that long," you heard Thorin's voice boom as he entered the room with Dwalin.

"Well, lassie, I have no idea why you wanted this as a present for the little lad, but it's finished, and just the way you wanted it," Dwalin said as he passed the hammer with the cube-shaped head to you. 

"Yes! It's perfect! Thank you. Now Thor has his hammer."

"I get the distinct feeling that I'm not the only person you named our baby after," Thorin said with a smirk. 

"Nonsense. Don't get paranoid on me again, Thorin," you said, earning a hearty chuckle from your husband. 

"It's a perfect gift for the heir to the throne of Erebor," you continued, "a tool for rebuilding and a weapon for defending."

"Speaking of rebuilding, wherever do we start?" Bofur asked, jumping to his feet.

"The kitchens," replied Bombur.

"Here," Thorin said to Fili, "Give my son to me. I shall give him a tour of our kingdom." 

You watched as the dwarves and Tauriel left to join Thorin on his grand tour, leaving you and Bilbo alone. 

"You're not going to leave and go back to the Shire, are you?" you asked him sadly, afraid he would return to the home he loved so much. 

Smiling at you he replied, "And leave you and my godson alone with nothing but dwarves and a she-elf with bad taste for company? Not in a million years. Besides, someone has to teach little Thor some table manners." 

"You're one of a kind Bilbo Baggins, and that's why I love you," you said while laughing and pulling him into a hug. 

"Y/n, tell me the truth. Did you name Thor after someone besides Thorin?"

"Yes, but he'll never know. Unless I ever have another son. It'll really mess with his head when I insist on naming the little guy Loki. Now come on, let's go join that tour," you said as you pulled a confused Bilbo up off the ground, after the others, and into the happiest of futures.


	15. The Kitten Bilbo x Reader

"Well, at least they didn't take this too," you said as you sat down on the bench in Bilbo's beloved garden. He'd been beside himself when the two of you returned to the Shire to find his relatives, friends, and neighbors carrying off all of his personal belongings. 

"All of it better be back tomorrow or, or," he said trailing off, trying to think of an appropriate threat. 

"Or they'll have to deal with me," you finished with a smirk. "They'll learn what happens to people who mess with my hobbit."

Smiling, he sat down beside you and started lighting his pipe while you moved over to curl up next to him. Your first peaceful evening at your new home was soon interrupted, however, by a small sound coming from a nearby bush. 

"I wonder what that could be," you said, hopping up to go investigate. 

Bilbo watched as you went over and practically climbed into the bush in your search for the source of the noise.

"Awwww, Bilbo look!"

You pulled out a small, black and gray kitten and hurried over to show him to the hobbit.

"Look at him!" you said. Bilbo blushed red with embarrassment when you held the kitten up to look underneath and added, "Yep, it's a he."

"Oh isn't he adorable? Can we keep him, honey? Please?"

"He might belong to someone, y/n."

"He's so skinny and dirty though. He obviously needs a home. Please? Please? Please?"

Bilbo wasn't entirely sure he liked the idea of having a pet, but as he looked at you, he caved like an avalanche. 

"Alright, we'll keep him."

"Oh thank you!" you yelled, leaning forward to give your fiancée a big kiss on the lips. "Come on! We've got to go clean him up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bilbo sat on the kitchen floor glaring at the little kitten as it happily drank its milk. For some unknown reason, the kitten, who absolutely adored you, had taken an immediate and intense disliking to the hobbit, the proof of which lay in the scratches covering Bilbo's hands and arms. 

"I could kick you out of this house right now," Bilbo muttered to the kitten, quietly enough so that you wouldn't hear him in the next room. "I could tell her I opened the front door and you ran away. She'd never know." 

The kitten looked up from its bowl with a smug expression that seemed to say, "You wouldn't dare." 

Both of them were distracted from their stare-off by your return. "This is the best I can find, Bilbo. Let me do that for you." You sat down on the floor and started cleaning his scratch marks. "I'm so sorry, babe. I know cats hate water, but I didn't think he'd react that badly to a bath. I feel horrible, especially since you're the only one who got hurt."

Bilbo swore he saw the kitten shoot him a knowing look.

Changing the subject he asked, "Have you decided on a name?"

You stared at the kitten as he cleaned the milk from his face. There was something regal and majestic about the way cats acted. That combined with his black fur with small gray streaks made you say, "What about Thorin?" 

Bilbo looked at you in surprise. That was the first time since the two of you had left Erebor that either of you had mentioned your deceased friend's name. The name of the dwarf that Bilbo had asked to be his best man at your wedding, before the battle changed all of that. 

To your surprise, Bilbo started laughing. "He's obstinate, irritable, and considering you found him all alone in a bush, obviously must have a terrible sense of direction. I think it's perfect." He hugged you tightly and planted a sweet kiss on your cheek. 

"It's decided. Thorin it is! Since I'm done doctoring you, I'm going to go see if they left us anything to make a pallet to sleep on. I swear those hobbits completely raided this place..." you muttered as you made your way out of the room. 

Bilbo got up to follow you, but he stopped in front of Thorin, bent over, and picked him up. The kitten started hissing, but was interrupted by Bilbo saying, "Listen here, I've faced angry dwarves, orcs, spiders, and a dragon, so I am not afraid you. You aren't the first Thorin I've known, and I swear he was a great deal more stubborn than you can possibly be and I managed him alright. So it's time for you straighten up and act right. Do we understand each other?"

"Meow."

"Good," Bilbo said with a smile. Then he cradled the kitten in his arm and started scratching its head, resulting in a contented purring. "Now let's go help y/n."


	16. Dance Lessons: Fili x Reader

"One step forward, one to the left, now back, now move to the right, not bad Kili." 

Since the restoration of Erebor was almost finished, King Thorin had announced that a grand celebration, complete with dancing, would take place in a fortnight's time. As his trusted friend and former member of his company, he requested that you undertake the special duty of teaching his beloved nephews how to dance. It was important to him that the future heirs of Erebor make a good impression. 

You were currently practicing with Kili while Fili sat on the sidelines fuming. Although neither of them had any experience whatsoever, the younger of the brothers was catching on far quicker than the elder, a fact which irritated Fili greatly. He watched for over an hour as Kili advanced to spinning you gracefully around the room and had even mastered a perfect dip. 

Laughing and out of breath, you finally stopped him and said "Kili, there's no more I can teach you. You're more than prepared for the party. I'm sure you're going to impress Tauriel greatly." 

"I thank you, dear lady," he said, kissing your hand playfully. "Now I am afraid I must leave you to get your toes stepped on by my less than graceful brother. I'll see you later. Don't break her feet, Fee!" 

As your best friend walked away, you glanced over to see his blonde sibling wearing a prominent frown on his admittedly handsome features. "You ready?" you asked him shyly. 

Kili and you had clicked almost immediately. He was easy to talk to and you felt comfortable being around him. His brother, however, was another story completely. You often caught yourself staring dreamily at his chiseled face and his strong, muscular body. And although you loved the confidence that he constantly exuded, you couldn't help but feel shy and awkward because of it. 

"Might as well give it one more try," he sighed as he slowly got up and made his way over to you. You felt your cheeks grow warm and your heart race as he took your hand in one of his and placed the other lightly on your waist. It had been easier when Kili was in the room, but now that you were alone you couldn't fight your nerves. 

"Alright, let's get started." 

You slowly started leading him in an awkward little box formation, but it didn't take long for the stiff Fili to mess up and stomp on your toes, causing you to cry out in pain. 

"I'm sorry, y/n! Are you okay?" 

You simply nodded to let him know that you were.

"I'm done with this," he sighed. "I'm never going to learn. Kili's right. I might as well give up now."

"No," you said with a firmness that surprised yourself. "You are fully capable of doing this, Fili. I've seen the way you fight. Your moves are graceful, fluid, deliberate. If you can do that, then you can do this."

"Y/n, fighting is nothing like dancing."

"Yes, it is. It's just like it. Except you aren't trying to kill the other person," you said, earning a chuckle. Placing his hands back into position, you continued "All you have to do is be confident in your movements, and anticipate your partner's."

Slowly, you began leading him again. There were, of course, still some mistakes made, but you refused to let him give up. Within a few hours, he was twirling you around the room like Kili had been earlier. 

Successful in your endeavor and exhausted from all that time on the dance floor, you finally decided to call it quits. Fili, being the gentleman that he is, insisted on walking you back to your room. 

Most of the walk was silent, but when Fili finally spoke up he said, "I didn't know you paid that much attention to me." 

"What?" 

"Earlier you said that you'd seen the way I fight. I didn't know you paid that much attention to me...and to my body," he said with a smirk. 

Embarrassed and at a loss for words, you continued on in silence without looking at the cheeky young prince. When the two of you finally arrived at your door, he said "You know, you're the only person I've ever danced with, obviously, and I've gotten used to your style. So maybe we should go to the celebration together?" 

At first you weren't sure you'd heard him right. Prince Fili, next in line to the throne, was asking you to be his date to an event where he would be in the spotlight in front of hundreds of his kin? 

As you stared at him, you let a strangled "I'd love to" escape your lips. 

"Great!" Then he leaned forward and kissed you on the cheek before heading off down the hall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you waited for Fili to pick you up for the party, you checked your hair and face in the mirror for about the hundredth time. You were so nervous about the evening that you almost jumped out of your skin at the sound of a knock on the door. You opened to find Fili looking absolutely stunning in his most formal attire.

"Y/n, you look...breathtaking."

"Thank you," you said shyly. "You look quite handsome yourself this evening."

"Thanks! Shall we?" he said, offering his arm, which you gladly took. 

Midway to the Great Hall, he stopped you and said "Thank you for teaching me to dance. You could have given up on me, and I wouldn't have blamed you for it all, but you had faith in me. I really appreciate it."

"It was my pleasure."

"No, it was mine. You make a great partner for a Prince, y/n." Lowering his voice to a whisper he added, "in more than one way." You couldn't breathe as he leaned forward to press his lips to yours. You were conscious of how soft and smooth they felt against your own, and you practically purred as his strong arms wrapped around your waist to pull you impossibly close to him. 

When the two of you finally parted, he whispered "I've been wanting to do that for a long time. I didn't because I thought you loved Kili and couldn't stand me. I was such an idiot, until he finally set me straight." 

"Kili did something right for a change," you muttered with a laugh. "We must thank him, but not tonight."

Fili looked at you in confusion. 

"Tonight," you continued, "we show him and that she-elf how dancing is really done." 

Chuckling heartily, he straightened up and offered you his arm once more. "Let's put them to shame."

With that, you took his arm proudly and let him lead you not only into the Great Hall, but also into the most magical night of your life.


	17. Beauty and the Beast (Thorin x Reader)

Today had been a particularly good one in your opinion. The weather was fair, the traveling was smooth, and the company of Thorin Oakenshield had been in high spirits. The hours passed quickly as you listened intently to their stories and songs. You never grew tired of their grand tales, even though you were convinced that some of them had received more than their fair share of embellishment. 

After you had all stopped to make camp for the night, Bofur approached you and asked, "Why don't you tell us a story, lass? You've been listening to us rattle on all day. We'd like to hear from you." 

"Oh, I don't know. I'm sure any story I'd tell would be boring compared to those whoppers you came up with earlier." 

You laughed when he covered his heart with his hand and feigned a shocked expression. "I'll have you know that every single tale of mine is completely, totally, and genuinely accurate...to a degree." 

"Go on!" A few of the others piped in. "Tell us a story!"

"Alright, just give me a minute to think of one."

As you flipped through your mental Rolodex of stories, most of them, especially the ones about your own experiences, seemed to pale in comparison to theirs. "It doesn't have to be about you," you thought to yourself. "Just come up with something good."

Finally, you decided on telling them one of your all time favorites. 

"All of you gather around so that you don't miss anything." You watched with a smile as a group of grown dwarves and a hobbit wearing excited expressions scooted closer to you.

"My story begins in a distant land, far from this world. In this land, there was a beautiful castle, the likes of which can hardly be imagined. The resident of this castle was a strikingly handsome young prince who lived all alone, except for his servants. For you see, beneath his beautiful exterior beat a heart that was callous and uncaring."

"One stormy, cold night, an ugly, old woman arrived at the castle seeking shelter. Repulsed by her appearance, the Prince turned her away. He immediately regretted his decision, however, when the old woman revealed her true form as a beautiful and powerful witch. Although he begged her for forgiveness, she refused to grant it. Instead, she laid a curse on him and his entire household. The gorgeous castle took on a menacing appearance, the servants were turned into animate versions of household objects, and the handsome Prince was turned into a grotesque monster. The witch then gave him a magical rose and told him that if he could make someone love him in spite of what he was, before the last petal fell, the spell would be reversed. But if he failed, he would remain a beast forever."

Taking a moment to survey the faces in front of you, you were happily surprised to find that they all, except for Thorin of course, seemed to be listening intently and thoroughly enthralled with your story. As you continued to weave your tale, you introduced them to Belle, Gaston, and Belle's father. You told them all about how Belle came to be a prisoner in the beast's castle and how he eventually began to fall in love with her.

But as you neared the part where Belle sees that her father is sick in the beast's magical mirror, you couldn't fight your sleepiness anymore. So after the beast granted Belle her freedom, you said "The end."

"What?!" several dwarves exclaimed. "That can't be the end!"

"What happens to the beast?" Kili asked.

"Does Belle ever come back to him?" Ori asked, sniffling quietly.

"Okay," you said, "so it's not really the end. But I'm exhausted so the rest has to wait until tomorrow night. Besides, there's something to building suspense. Now, all of you go to bed."

You watched as Bilbo and your beloved dwarves scattered to their own makeshift beds for the night. Once they had begun to settle down, you curled up in your own spot and quickly fell into a deep sleep. 

There was only one dwarf that, for once, you hadn't been paying attention to. You hadn't noticed that Thorin didn't bed down with everyone else. And you didn't know that he spent the entire night wide awake, his mind filled with thoughts that had been stirred up by your story.

Yes, he had actually been listening. Though he tried his hardest to hide it. He always listened to you, just like he always kept his eyes on you when you weren't looking. The truth was that Thorin Oakenshield cared more for you than he felt comfortable admitting, since he couldn't be sure that you felt the same way. He'd spotted some hopeful signs, like the fact that you were always kind to him no matter what mood he was in. And he thought that he'd caught you staring at him a few times, but that could have been his imagination. He wasn't really sure. 

However, your story had awoken some serious concerns and fears. The parallels between himself and the beast were undeniable. He hadn't been good to you early on. In fact, he'd been his usual gruff self. But ever since he developed feelings for you, he had tried his best to make it up to you. He wasn't very good with emotions near the positive end of the spectrum though, and most of his attempts had been far from traditionally romantic. 

Thorin watched as you slept curled up beside his nephews. The nephews that never failed to bring a smile to your face. That was the kind of man you needed. Someone affectionate who would always make you happy. As the morning sun began to shine on the campsite, Thorin Oakenshield decided that, just like the beast, the best thing he could do would be to let his beauty go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, most of the company was just as they had been the day before. They kept pestering you to finish your story, but you insisted on waiting until after dinner. 

It hadn't taken you long to notice that Thorin's mood was off. Sure, he was never the most cheerful guy in the group, but he'd been nicer to you lately, a fact which meant a great deal considering your secret feelings for him. At first you thought you were just being paranoid, but it eventually became evident that he was avoiding you for some reason. He had ignored every attempt of yours to talk to him, and even went as far as riding away from you once. 

You wondered if perhaps you had said or done something wrong, so when you stopped to make camp for the night, you stole a moment alone with Balin and told him all about it. 

"He does seem to be acting a bit odd today, lass." Balin said. "Would you like me to have a word with him?"

"Oh thank you, but please don't mention that I said anything."

"It's just between us," he said with a wink.

You watched as he moved over to the other side of the camp to speak to Thorin, but you were surprised when they left the clearing and moved into the woods. With your curiosity getting the better of you, you decided to follow them. 

Sneaking as quietly as you could, you tip-toed until you could hear their voices again, then you crouched down behind some trees so you wouldn't be seen. You had missed quite a bit of the conversation already it seemed, but it didn't matter because you'd arrived just in time for the climax. 

"Thorin, you don't honestly think she made up that entire story just to get rid of you, do you?"

"Of course not, but it opened my eyes. She can't love someone like me, and I don't blame her. The best thing I can do for her is to let her go."

You covered your mouth in shock. You could hardly believe that Thorin felt that way about you, and you had never imagined a simple fairy tale would affect him so much. You knew you had to fix this, but you didn't want to just run to him. It had to be done with class.

Silently, you backtracked a few yards. Once you felt that you were far enough back, you began stomping loudly through the underbrush in the direction of Thorin and Balin. When you arrived in their presence, Thorin quickly turned his back to you. 

"I was just coming to let you know that I'm about to finish telling my story, so you guys need to hurry up." 

Looking over at Balin, you saw that he was shaking his head "no," as if telling you to drop it. But you ignored him and proceeded with your plan. 

You stomped your foot loudly on the ground and raised your voice to the point that it got Thorin's attention. "You two better be there. I want my entire audience." Lowering your voice again you added, "Besides, no story should be left unfinished."

Then you turned and headed back to camp. A few minutes later Balin returned to the clearing. Your heart dropped when you saw that he was alone, but it jumped into your throat when Thorin finally joined all of you. He sat as far away from you as possible and still refused to make eye contact, but you were hoping to change that soon enough. 

"Alright, I believe I left off at the part when Belle leaves the castle." You then proceeded to tell them about Belle returning to her sick father and how Gaston and the villagers found out about the beast and proceeded to attack his castle. You managed to draw tears and sniffles when you described how the beast refused to defend himself against Gaston until the moment that Belle returned to him. 

"During the struggle between the two, Gaston seriously injured the beast before falling off the castle and to his death below. Belle ran to the beast as quickly as she could, and was heartbroken when she saw his wounds. The beast, however, was simply happy that Belle had returned to him. As he lay dying, she began sobbing into his chest because she realized that-"

"She loved him," you heard Thorin's deep voice say on the other side of the campsite. When you looked at him this time, he didn't look away, but instead kept his eyes locked on yours. 

"And that she always will," you added, staring back into his tender, love-filled eyes. In the moments that followed, more was said in the silent stares the two of you shared than the finest poet or storyteller could ever describe with words. But it was interrupted by Kili clearing his throat. 

"Oh yes! The rest of the story," you said, embarrassingly looking around at your friends. 

"Well, because Belle had fallen in love with him, the spell was lifted. She was surprised to suddenly see a handsome, and completely healed man standing in front of her. But in spite of the physical changes, she knew it was him the moment he spoke to her. Shortly thereafter, the two were married and they lived happily ever after. The End."

"That was a great story, y/n!" Ori said. "You'll have to tell us another one sometime."

"Okay I will, now all of you go to bed. It's late."

"She just wants us to go to bed so that mommy and daddy can have some alone time," you heard Kili whisper to his brother with a wink. 

"Oh, shut up, Kili," you replied, playfully smacking him on the shoulder. 

As the others settled down for the night, you made your way over to Thorin and sat beside him. You were surprised when he placed one of his strong hands on top of yours.

"I don't think any story you ever tell will be as good as that one," he said quietly, turning your face with his other hand so that he could bring his lips to yours. You were surprised at how gentle his kiss felt. It was innocent, yet not lacking in passion. 

When he pulled back, you moved your head to rest it on his shoulder. As he caressed your hand between his, you began singing to yourself, so softly that only the two of you could hear it: 

"Tale as old as time  
Song as old as rhyme  
Beauty and the beast"

The End.


	18. Fili x Reader: NSFW

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine sparring with Fili that turns into a tickle fight and then love-making.

Sorry if it's bad! I've never written smut before, but it was by request :)

"Ow! That hurt, you jerk!" you yelled at Fili as you walked over to pick up your sword for about the fifth time. The two of you had been practice sparring for at least an hour, but his skills were putting yours to shame...and killing the muscles in your hands and forearms.

"I'm sorry, y/n, but you've really got to learn how to keep a firm hold on your blade. It isn't going to do you any good on the ground. Here, let me show you."

He walked over to you and wrapped his arms around you from behind. "Place this hand here," he said, moving your right hand into position. "And your other hand here. Now hold it tight, but keep your wrists loose. You need to have a firm grip without being stiff."

You were trying your hardest to focus on his instructions, but you were extremely distracted by the feeling of his hands on yours. His breath on your neck and his muscular chest pressing into your back weren't helping matters any either. 

"Do you think you've got it now?" he asked. 

"No, you are far too distracting for me to be able to learn anything," you said in your most seductive voice. 

"Mmm, you think so?" he purred into your ear while moving his hands to trace up and down your sides. The sensation was ticklish instead of sensual though and it caused you to giggle out loud. 

"Don't do that, Fili. It tickles." 

"Does it now?" he asked. Even without looking at him, you still knew that a mischievous smirk was forming on his lips. Then he starting repeating the movement over and over. Laughter erupted from you as you doubled over onto the ground, trying to fight him off as he landed on top of you still tickling away. 

"Fili! Stop!" you said between laughs and gasps for air. 

"Give me a kiss and I'll quit," he said, stopping momentarily so he could get an answer. 

"That's blackmail," you replied. But after you'd regained your breath, you reached your hand up through his hair to the back of his head and pulled him down for a kiss. 

You relished in the oh so familiar kiss. It was like the dozens you had received from him before, and yet somehow they never lost their magic. As you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, he moved one of his hands to your hip and pulled you towards him. 

Your own hands began to trace up and down his back. All of his muscles seemed to be working at once and you longed to feel them without the barrier of clothing. Slowly, you slipped your hands under his shirt and began repeating the previous motions. His skin was smooth against your fingertips as you traced the movement of his muscles. The bunched up material of his shirt was uncomfortable pressed between your bodies, so you went to remove it and he of course allowed it. 

Fili's hand moved down from your hip to your thigh. Using his entire palm, he stroked up and down. Each time his hand made a return trip, it moved faster and gripped harder than the time before. 

By this point, both of you were breathing rapidly. You could feel proof of Fili's excitement pressing against your body, and your own body longed to be touched. It longed for his touch. You unwrapped your arms from around him and moved them down to work on his belt. As soon as your fingers came into contact with it, however, he stopped and looked you in the eyes.

"Are you sure you want to? I mean, this place isn't exactly private," he said, looking around at the forest surrounding you. "And we've never-" He was cut off by you kissing him firmly on the lips. Pulling back only a mere inch you whispered, "I'm sure."

This time the kiss he gave you was unlike any other. Instead of gentle and loving, it was eager and full of passion. Your hands quickly returned to his belt, which was far more difficult to to undo than it should have been. Growing impatient, Fili quickly stood up and removed it along with the rest of his clothing. You watched with hungry eyes as his body became completely exposed to you. Licking your lips, you relished in the thought that the perfect form in front of you belonged entirely to you.

"You're still very dressed," he said with a smirk.

"Why don't you come over here and change that then?"

He was on you again in seconds, his rough hands pulling your shirt up over your head, leaving your upper body bare to the world. After taking a moment to admire you, he gently took one of your nipples in his mouth while his hands busied himself with revealing your lower body. With some assistance from you, you were soon as exposed as he was. He moved his lips up to work along your collarbone while one of his hands cupped and massaged your right breast. The other breast was enjoying the unusual feeling of his chest hair against it. 

You wrapped one of your arms around him while the other made its way down to stroke his manhood. He moaned into your chest as you slowly pumped up and down. You jumped in surprise when his hand moved from your breast to your most sensitive area.

"Are you alright?" he asked, voice full of concern.

"Yeah, you just surprised me is all."

He began tracing his fingers all along the outside of you, causing you to whimper and buck your hips towards him. His movements were slow, gentle, and deliberate. Every touch was more enjoyable than the one before. By this point, your body was desperately aching to be filled. Somehow, he must have known it because he slipped two of his fingers inside of you. The sensation was unlike any other. It was pleasant, and yet strangely ticklish at first. Fili was surprised when you actually giggled. 

"Sorry," you said, smiling sheepishly. "Tickles."

"I think we've had enough of that for one day," he said with a smile, before he began to move his fingers within you. You could fill the pleasure inside of you grow exponentially, but it wasn't what you wanted. 

"I need you, Fili," you moaned. As if fulfilling a royal command, he quickly moved himself into a position where he could enter you. The process was almost painstakingly slow, but you were grateful for the time to adjust to him. His movements in and out of you were slow at first, but as both of you grew closer to your point of release, the pace quickened. With each thrust, you balled your fists up into the grass beside you and moaned loudly. The moment you peaked was unbelievable. An incredible wave of pleasure washed over you while your lips weakly whimpered your lover's name. Fili finished just moments after you with an equally satisfying climax. 

As you tried to regain your breath, he lay down beside you and took you into his arms. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" he asked. 

"Yeah, I do," you said with a smile. "I hope I'm your only sparring partner that gets the full treatment." 

Laughing, he replied "Definitely, dear. Definitely."


	19. Fili x Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine Thorin asking you to join the quest so that you can marry Fili.

The sun was just beginning to fall behind the peaks of the mountains as you made your way back home. You had spent the entire day at the nearby lake, enjoying the coolness of the water and the warmth of the sun against your skin. Summer would soon be over and you were determined to make the most of the time you had left with it. 

As you neared your house, you saw the familiar and inviting sight of smoke rising out of the chimney. The smell that met your nostrils told you that your father must almost be done preparing supper. Rounding the corner, you saw an unfamiliar pony grazing outside your front door. As you opened the door, you saw that your father was seated at the table with a dwarf you did not recognize. He was close to your father's age, with black hair streaked with gray. He was, admittedly, rather handsome.

"Y/n," your father said, rising from the table to usher you into the room. "Come in and speak to Thorin." 

"I doubt she remembers me," Thorin said, standing up and facing you with a smile. "I haven't seen her since she was a very young lass." 

He was right to a degree. You hadn't recognized him, but you'd heard your father speak of Thorin so often that he seemed like a long lost member of the family. Your father had served as one of the top guards to Thror years ago in Erebor, and he and Thorin had been like brothers. Even your father's marriage to your mother, a she-elf from the Woodland Realm, had not torn the bond apart. But after your mother died in Smaug's wrath, and your father lost the use of his left arm from the severity of his burns, he chose to settle down in one spot to raise you. Thorin had visited some over the years, but their separate duties and obligations had made it difficult to keep up the friendship. 

"It is wonderful to see you again," you said, offering a genuine smile. The three of you dined together that evening. You listened with great interest as the two of them relived old stories and caught up on new ones. It wasn't until after dinner that Thorin revealed why he was there.

"Your daughter has grown into a beautiful young lady, my old friend." You blushed at his words even though you had heard them before. You had inherited your father's height, but your mother's beauty and graceful nature. 

"I have come to you both with a request," he continued. "I plan on leading a company to reclaim Erebor." 

"That is a fool's quest, Thorin," your father said. "That dragon can not be defeated." 

"Some believe he is already dead," Thorin replied. "Either way, it is my duty to try. My nephew Fili, my heir, will be accompanying me. An heir to the throne should have a bride of quality. I am requesting that you be that bride, y/n." 

You and your father looked at each other in surprise and you both knew what the other was thinking. 'Why would Thorin want a half-elf to be the future Queen of Erebor?' 

"I don't understand?" your father asked.

"You served my grandfather well, and you are my dear friend. I hold you in the highest of regards, and I strongly believe that y/n will not disappoint me either." 

"I won't let her go," your father said. "That dragon stole my wife and my arm. I will not let him have my daughter as well."

"I'll go," you piped in. 

Your father looked at you in surprise. Taking his hand, you said "You served the King Under the Mountain, and so shall I. History will not repeat itself, of that I promise you." 

It took quite a bit of convincing to get your father's approval and blessing. He didn't want to see you go, but Thorin promised to keep you safe, and he understood that princess and then queen was a wonderful opportunity. 

You both began to cry as you said your goodbyes, and you swore to send for him as soon as Erebor was reclaimed. As you rode your pony away from the house, you turned to wave goodbye to him one more time. 

"You will see him again before you know it," Thorin said, giving you a reassuring smile. 

"I hope so," you replied while drying your eyes. Wanting to change the subject, you said "So, tell me all about Fili."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thorin spoke about Fili, and Kili, for the entire journey. By the time you reached the house where Thorin lived with his sister and nephews, you felt as if you had grown up with the two Durin brothers. As you slowed your pony in front of the house, a young, dark-haired dwarf came outside and made his way over to you. He had a giant smile on his face as he helped you down from your pony. 

"Now I really wish I was the firstborn," he said with a wink. 

"Kili," Thorin said, the stern warning obvious in his voice. "Where is Fili?" 

"He'll be back in a bit," he said, offering his arm to you so that he could lead you into the house. When you entered, you saw a dark-haired female who you assumed must be Thorin's sister and the mother to the boys. Once she spotted you, she rushed over and gave you a tight hug. 

"It is wonderful to see you again, y/n! Let me look at you. You're as beautiful as your mother was. We were good friends, you know? I always said she was a dwarf born in an elf's body. Here, sit down. You must be exhausted."

She ushered you over to a chair and then began fixing you a cup of tea. "That's mother for you," Kili whispered to you with a laugh. "Always a whirlwind." 

The front door opened again and a young blonde dwarf entered the room. You knew from Thorin's description that this must be Fili, but you were taken aback by how handsome he was. His features were strong and chiseled, and he looked like a perfect combination of mature masculinity and boyish charm.

Thorin escorted him over to you and made the introductions. You blushed profusely when Fili took your hand and kissed it gently. His eyes held a friendly glint and his smile was so confident that it was borderline mischievous. 

The next few weeks were spent getting to know your future husband and family. It would most likely be years until the wedding took place, but they didn't waste any time making you one of them. You helped Dis around the house, joked and messed around with Kili, and practiced sparring with Thorin. But your favorite moments were the ones where you and Fili were alone. The two of you would spend hours taking walks together, simply talking and growing closer. It didn't take many of these walks before you realized you had fallen hard for him.

One evening, the two of you decided to take a break from walking and sat down side by side on the grass. You watched as the moon became more visible in the sky above you. The chill of the autumn night began creeping in, causing you to shiver. 

"Here, take this," Fili said as he began removing his jacket.

"Thanks," you replied as he draped his large coat around you. Sliding your arms into the sleeves, you pulled the coat closer and breathed in his pleasant and familiar scent. Since your hands were cold also, you slipped them into his pockets, but frowned when something cold collided with your right hand.

"What is this?" you asked as you began to pull the item out.

"That's-that's nothing!" he stammered as he moved suddenly to take it from you, but you snatched your hand away so that it was out of his reach. 

"Fili, are you blushing? I've never seen you like this. Whatever could it be," you said with a smirk before opening your hand, revealing a small, silver ring. 

You heard him sigh beside you. "I hadn't built up the courage to give it to you yet."

"You made this for me?" you asked.

"Yes. When Uncle said he'd picked out a girl for me to marry, I was worried. I was going to do what he wanted, of course, because it's my duty, but I was pleasantly surprised when I met you. I hadn't imagined you'd be so beautiful. To be honest, I've grown very fond of you already. That's why I made that for you." When he finished speaking, he looked away and began rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"I think it's perfect," you said, slipping the ring on your left ring finger. Turning his chin so he that was looking at you, you added "And I've grown very fond of you too." Then you leaned forward and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. 

While you two were enjoying the moment, you moved your other hand up to his face. You jumped when you heard him cry out, and you would have snatched your hands back if it wasn't for him holding on tightly to your left wrist. That's when you noticed that your intricately designed ring had become snagged in one of his mustache braids. 

"Are you okay?" you asked, truly concerned even though the sight was amusing. 

"Yes, just don't move," he replied. "We have to get it untangled."

The two of you worked for quite some time before you could finally head home. When you walked in the door, Kili took one look at his brother before breaking out into laughter.

"What happened to your-"

"Shut up, Kili!" Fili yelled, causing the only remaining mustache braid to wave violently from the movement. 

You tried not to laugh as you watched your beloved storm off to his room to try to repair the damage. 

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Kili asked as you sat down beside him. 

You proceeded to tell him which made him laugh so hard that tears were pouring from his eyes. When he had finally calmed down, you showed him the ring that Fili had made you. 

"It's nice," he said while studying it. "But if you really love Fili, I think you need to start wearing it on a chain." 

"That's not a bad idea, y/n," Fili said as he came back into the room, still sporting one braid. He sat beside you and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close to his side. 

Thinking that the two of you might want to be alone, Kili hopped up and started making his way towards his room. But before he left, he said "You two be careful. Romance is apparently quite dangerous. Love the new look by the way, Fee." 

After he was gone, Fili whispered to you, "If he had a beard I'd cut it off while he's asleep."

The two of you then spent the rest of the evening cuddled up together sharing sweet, hands-free kisses.


	20. Hurt! Reader x Kili

You were relieved when the company was finally safe inside Beorn's house with the door locked. The entire business with the goblins, wargs, orcs, and then Beorn in his bear form had made for a tiring ordeal. Sighing, you ran your hand across your face and through your hair. 

"Y/n, you're hurt!" you heard Kili yell. That's when you noticed the trail of blood on your face. He rushed over to you and started inspecting your head for some sign of injury. Glancing down at your hand, you noticed a gash in the center of your palm. 

"Kili, it's alright. It's just my hand," you said, holding it up to show him.

"It still looks bad," he said, brows furrowed in concern. "Let's get Oin to take a look at it."

Putting an arm around you, he led you over to Oin. "It's not too bad, y/n. Just a bit of cleaning up and some bandages and it will be just fine." 

"I'll do that for you, if you like?" Kili offered. 

"Thank you. I'd appreciate it." 

You found a spot on the floor and waited while Kili went to find the necessary supplies. He returned shortly with a large bowl of water and some clean, torn up rags. Sitting in front of you, he took your hand and placed it into the warm water. Even though he was being gentle, you couldn't help but wince as he cleaned out your wound. When he seemed to be satisfied with its cleanliness, he dried your hand off and began meticulously wrapping the rags around it. You watched as his large hands deftly managed the task, and you relished in the sensation of his touch. 

"There, all fixed," he said with a sweet smile. 

"Thanks again," you replied before leaning forward and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "It was very kind of you." His sweet smile quickly turned into a beaming, glowing expression. 

"You're welcome. I'm just relieved it wasn't anything more serious."

"You were really worried about me there for a minute, weren't you?" you asked. 

"Of course I was." He paused for a minute and started staring at the bowl still sitting between you. "I'm very fond of you, y/n." 

"I'm fond of you too, Kili."

"No, I mean...I think about you all of the time. And I want to be close to you. And I think I...love you." 

The handsome dwarf prince was still staring at the bowl on the floor. With your uninjured hand, you pushed the bowl out from between the two of you and scooted closer to him saying "I'm disappointed, Kili."

He looked up at you with a heartbroken expression. 

"I'm disappointed that you only think you love me, because I know I love you." Then you gave him a quick peck on the lips. 

He stared at you with a shocked expression before he flashed a wide, toothy grin. "You scared me. I thought you were rejecting me." 

"I know. That's why I did it. You're adorable when you're scared." 

Taking your hands in his, he said, "You do realize I'm going to have to get you back for that." 

"I'm sure you'll try," you replied with a laugh. Then you leaned in and gave him a longer, deeper kiss. After a few minutes, he broke it off and whispered, "Maybe I can just let it slide this time."

"Nah," you replied, smirking against his lips. "Where would be the fun in that?"


	21. Lindir x Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine falling for Lindir during the company's stay in Rivendell.

In spite of what the dwarves thought of Rivendell, you were having a magnificent time. You were currently enjoying a light elvish dinner while squeezed in between Kili and Bofur. 

"Flirting with the she-elf are we, Kili?" you asked after you saw him wink at the one playing the harp.

"Maybe I was and maybe I wasn't," he said with a smile. "Are you jealous?" 

"Only in your dreams." 

He laughed and elbowed you playfully in the ribs. Then he leaned close to you and whispered, "I think that Elf over there has a thing for you." When you responded with nothing but a confused expression, he motioned his head towards the dark-haired elf standing beside Lord Elrond. 

He was the one who had first greeted all of you when you arrived in Rivendell. At least, you thought he was. You hadn't really been paying that much attention to be honest. Whoever he was, Kili was right about him staring, because now he was looking anywhere but at you and had a slight blush on his cheeks. 

You studied him out of curiosity and it didn't take you long to notice that he was an uptight sort of fellow. When the dwarves had started throwing food, the look on his face had been one of pure horror. Honestly, you thought he looked quite amusing that way, and rather cute.

After dinner, you decided to take a walk so that you could explore your new surroundings. Eventually you found yourself standing on a balcony and looking out at the scenery below. The beauty of it was overwhelming. You leaned over the railing a bit so that you could get a better view, and you were startled when someone grabbed you from behind. 

You jumped back so quickly that you knocked down the person behind you. When you turned around to give them what for, you saw that it was the same dark-haired elf from dinner.

"I did not intend to frighten you, my lady. But it is quite dangerous to lean so far over the railing."

It was obvious that he was as sweet and innocent as a newborn puppy, so you felt really bad about knocking him down, even if it was an accident.

You offered your hand to him and helped him up off the ground. "I'm sorry I pushed you down. I was just startled." 

He gave you a shy smile and said "No harm done." 

The two of you stood in silence for a few moments before he continued. "I could show you around, if you would like?" 

"It would be my pleasure," you said, wrapping one of your arms around his. Even though he was the one who was supposed to be giving the tour, you were the one who did almost all of the talking. You chatted incessantly about yourself, your time with the company, and everything else that came to mind. He just smiled and happily nodded. It was very late into the evening when he finally escorted you back to your room. 

"Thank you, Lindir. I had a wonderful time."

"So did I, my lady." 

As you looked at him, you wondered how it had taken you so long to notice how beautiful he was. On an impulse, you stood on your tip toes and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. 

"Goodnight," you said before disappearing into your room. 

Early the next morning, you were awoken by someone banging loudly on the door. 

"Hold on. I'm coming." You opened the door to reveal Kili.

"It's time for us to leave. Get ready as quick as you can and meet us by the fountain." Then he left you alone to get dressed. As you changed clothes and gathered your belongings, you couldn't help but think of Lindir. He was so kind, and you hated to leave without getting to know him better. But your place was with the company. 

You started looking through the drawers of the small desk that was in your room until you found writing materials. Then you scribbled out a quick note, grabbed your bag, and headed out the door. 

As Rivendell grew farther and farther away, you turned around and gave it one last look before it fell out of view. You smiled at the thought that perhaps Lindir was reading your note at that very moment, and you hoped that he'd look forward to the return trip that it promised. 

Standing there, you knew it would be months before you'd be able to return to him and that beautiful valley. But you were reassured by the thought that, even though it seemed like an eternity to you, it would go by quickly for him. After all, what's a few months or even a year in the life of an elf?


	22. MiddleEarth meets iTunes

By request :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Y/n, I'm not trying to rush you, but are you about done?" Bilbo asked with his back turned towards where you were drying off from you bath. You knew how much Bilbo valued his status as a respectable hobbit, that's why you chose him to stand guard while you bathed; he wouldn't dare peek. 

"I'm dressed if you want to turn around. I'm just drying my hair a bit." 

Bilbo turned and watched as you ran the towel vigorously over your short hair. The company, particularly the dwarves, had been quite astounded by your hairstyle when they first met you. They couldn't understand why such a lovely woman would want to cut off all of her hair. But now they appreciated it as being uniquely "you," and most of them thought it actually flattered your facial features exceptionally well. 

As the two of you headed back to camp, Bilbo stopped when an unfamiliar sound met his pointed ears. "What is that awful noise?" he asked, wrinkling his face up in disgust.

"I'm afraid I know exactly what it is," you replied.

Walking into camp, you spotted Kili lounging against a tree, holding your iPod and looking at it curiously. 

"Kili, what are you doing messing with that?" you asked on your way to snatch it from him. 

"What's an anaconda?" he asked while the song was still blaring.

Blushing brightly, you snatched it from him and replied with the half-truth, "It's a snake." 

"Well now I'm really confused."

"If you want to listen to music, why don't you let me pick out something you'll like?"

"Alright," he said, squirming in his seat and eyes shining brightly. "Choose away!"

You scrolled through your music selection with a small frown on your face. What would Kili like? He was young, energetic, boisterous...finally you clicked on a selection and let the music start to fill the air. 

"It's going down.  
I'm yelling 'Timber!'  
You better move.  
You better dance.  
Let's make a night, you won't remember.  
I'll be the one  
You won't forget."

"I like it!" he exclaimed with a smile. Then he jumped up, grabbed you around the waist, and started spinning you around. When he let you go, you both started hopping up and down and you showed him how to fist pump to the beat. 

"Well I think it stinks. No offense, lassie." Bofur said with a smile. 

"Let's try this then," you replied and started scrolling again before choosing another song. 

While the intro music played, you walked over to Bofur and then started singing along with the words.

"Oh hey, boy with your hat back."

You pushed his hat down so it covered his face. 

"Mm I kinda like that.  
If you want to walk my way,"

Bofur hopped up and started wiggling his body just like yours, causing the others to erupt into laughter.

"I'ma shoot ya straight up  
Show me whatcha made of.  
I don't have time to waste  
On the boys that are playing the games"

You pointed a playfully accusing finger at Kili. 

"And leaving the girls crying out in the rain.  
So tell me baby,  
do you got what it takes?  
If you gonna hold me,  
hold me like I'm leaving."

Bofur wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him.

"If you're gonna kiss me,  
kiss me like you need it."

He jumped up and pecked you quickly on the cheek. 

"Baby if you're not you best get to leaving."

You pushed him away, wagging your finger at him. 

"If you're going to love me,  
love me like you mean it."

The rest of the song went on much the same way, with the two of you dancing comically and the others enjoying your antics.

When the song finished, both of you bowed to your audience. 

"Shall we do another?" Bofur asked eagerly. But the song that shuffle had chosen required a different partner. 

"This dance belongs to him!" you said, pointing at a bewildered Thorin who was sitting on the other side of the camp.

You made your way over to him, swaying your hips seductively, and singing:

"I can't stop this feeling  
Deep inside of me  
Boy, you just don't realize  
What you do to me"

You grabbed Thorin's hands, pulled him onto his feet and as close to you as possible, causing the hardened King Under the Mountain to blush bright red. 

"When you hold me  
in your arms so tight  
You let me know  
Everything's alright"

The two of you were now swaying your bodies to the music, with Thorin's much more rigid and awkward than your own. 

"IIIII'mmm  
Hooked on a feeling  
I'm high on believin  
That you're in love with me"

You gave your current dance partner a giant wink before licking your lips in the most exaggeratedly sexual way possible.

"Lips as sweet as candy  
Its taste is on my mind  
Boy, you've got me thirsty  
For another  
Cup of wine"

Thorin finally loosened up a bit and twirled you while the music surrounded the two of you. 

"All the good love  
When we're all alone"

You wiggled your eyebrows at him suggestively.

"Keep it up boy  
Yeah, you turn me on"

Right as you were fanning your face at those lines, Dwalin pulled you away from Thorin saying, "Alright, that's enough of that. Dance with me?"

"Sure, big boy. I've got the perfect song for you too." You hurried over to your iPod and quickly changed the music before rushing back to him.

"What is this?" he asked with a frown on his face.

"You'll love it. Trust me" you said, bobbing your head to the beat and dancing in circles around him.

"And girls,  
they want to have fun.  
Oh girls just want to have fun"

The boys were doubled over laughing at the expression on Dwalin's face as you continued trying to dance with his annoyed and unmoving body.

"Oh I'm giving up on you," you said with a sigh before flipping to another song. When it started playing, you set your sights on your next unsuspecting victim.

But poor Bilbo almost didn't survive your sexed up version of Hungry Eyes. He was still in a state of shock from you throwing your thigh over his shoulder late into the night.

You and Fili put far too much effort into making your moves match up to the lyrics of Troublemaker, and you and Nori had a ball with Last Friday Night. But the highlight of the evening had to be when you convinced Gandalf and Balin to show off their skills to Thrift Shop. 

Finally exhausted from the combination of the day's traveling and the impromptu party, all of you settled down for the night. Just as you were about to drift off to sleep, you heard Kili whisper, "Hey, y/n, I still don't understand what that Anaconda song was supposed to be about."

"It's best if we leave it that way. Trust me. Now go to sleep, sweet prince."


	23. Author's Note

So in the process of trying to finish the chapter stories I started ages ago, the urge has struck me to maybe write a few more reader inserts...but I have no ideas whatsoever. I've always liked working off of imagines the most, so if anybody is interested in posting some in the comments it would be greatly appreciated. Preferably ones with very little reader background info that can just be turned into short pieces. I don't want to end up dedicating 8 paragraphs to family history, first meeting details, and all that. Hobbit and LOTR are obviously accepted since that's the name of the book. MCU is cool too. If I get enough that inspire me, I might would dive into starting a section for that. Thanks!


	24. Bilbo x Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I found this in a deep, dark corner of my old drafts and decided to finish it. It was originally going to be a nsfw, but this happened instead. I can always do a part 2 if anyone else wants it.

"What are we going to do?" Bilbo asked you.

He was sitting across from you on a wooden crate fiddling with something in his coat pocket that you assumed must have been the arkenstone. You were the only person he'd told about finding it, and you had promised to help him figure out what to do next. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed movement somewhere behind Bilbo. Looking up, you caught sight of Thorin. His face was twisted in anger, causing panic to begin rapidly spreading through your whole body. You knew what he'd do if he found Bilbo with the arkenstone. You had to act quickly to stop this scene from happening. 

Acting on the first idea that popped into your head, you quickly closed the distance between you and Bilbo, threw yourself onto him, straddling his lap, grabbed two fistfuls of his brown curls, and planted a passionate kiss on his lips. He sat perfectly still at first, as if he had been turned to stone. But slowly, he began to return the kiss. It was gentle, yet seemingly eager. He brought his hands up and tentatively wrapped them around your waist. You opened your eyes and watched as Thorin awkwardly walked away, apparently surprised to the extent that all thoughts of betrayal had abandoned his mind. 

When you saw that he was gone, you pulled back and giggled in relief.  
"You better be glad I thought of that. If I hadn't, Thorin would be throwing you over the wall now."

You were shocked when Bilbo quickly stood up and, avoiding eye contact completely, muttered "thank you for that then," before hurrying away. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sat in the same spot for at least an hour wondering what in the world had happened. Why had Bilbo reacted that way to you? Was your kiss that bad? No, he kissed you back. He could have pulled away if he wanted. The whole situation was bothering you a great deal more than you cared to admit. The truth of the matter was that you'd been crazy about the burglar practically since your first meeting, and his reaction had hurt. 

As you sat there contemplating, suddenly all the pieces fell into place and the clouds lifted. With a mischievous smile and a wicked little chuckle, you hopped up and ran off to find Bilbo. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You found him in the armory talking to Thorin while the dwarves were busy putting their armor on. He had ditched his coat and vest and was now wearing a shiny new metal shirt that clung to his body in all the right places. Not wanting to interrupt, you used your moments of waiting to study him from a distance. 

It didn't matter to you that he was a hobbit, and therefore quite a bit smaller than yourself. You were still extremely capable of appreciating his physical features. Biting your bottom lip, your eyes trailed hungrily over his shoulders and chest. His new attire outlined him in a way nothing he'd worn yet had. You loved that his collarbone and the base of his slender throat were now exposed. 

Your mind wandered to the familiar fantasy of your lips and tongue exploring his bare skin. How many times had you imagined his reaction to your touches? And the luscious sounds he'd make in response to your gentle love nips? And....damn it why were these dwarves taking so long? How long can putting on a little armor take? 

Stepping aside, you let each of the dwarves exit the armory in turn, hoping to have a word with Thorin before he left. The notion of asking that he make sure you and your burglar got some much needed privacy left your head, however, when you saw the weird, crazy look in his eyes. 

"I guess that's what dragon sickness looks like then...okay, I'll just take my chances on the privacy thing," you thought to yourself, giving Thorin a friendly, "I'm not a threat" smile as he passed by. 

Once you could no longer hear the sounds of their footfalls, you turned sharply to focus your attention on Bilbo. 

"He's losing it, y/n," Bilbo began, "he thinks the dwarves are-"

"I don't care about Thorin right now, Bilbo" you interrupted. "We'll worry about that later." 

Slowly, you started making your way over to him. You watched as he got that oh so familiar look of awkwardness on his adorable features and averted his eyes to the floor. 

"You ran away before I could finish with you earlier," you said in the most sexual tone you could conjure, causing Bilbo to look up at you, a blush forming on his cheeks and tips of his ears. "That was rude." 

When you reached him, you gently pushed him onto the ground and quickly took the same position on him as you had earlier. Only this kiss made the previous one look like Disney movie material. 

Your tongue gained territory in his mouth while your hands began exploring his body. For a few moments, which seemed like an eternity, he sat there motionless, quiet as a mouse. Concerned, you pulled back and looked at him with a worried expression. 

"Bilbo?" you asked, waving a hand in front of his face, trying to pick up on any sign of life. "You okay?" 

You watched as he tried to push a squeaky "yes" out of his mouth before opting for shaking his head instead. 

"Do you want me to stop?" you asked. He shook his head in the opposite direction, indicating "no", before clearing his throat and wiggling his nose in that way that you had come to adore. 

"Sorry," he began, "this is just" he let out a nervous laugh, "surprising is all, give me a minute." 

Leaning back on his lap, you watched as the little wheels in his mind turned and smiled to yourself. Only Bilbo would overthink all of this....

"You kissed me up there because of Thorin," he muttered to himself, "now you're down here..." 

"Bilbo," you said, breaking him from his train of thought. "I'm down here because I love you, and I have finally figured out that you love me too. Now, shut up and make love to me." 

He just smiled that sweet, gorgeous smile of his at you before saying, "Yes, my lady."


	25. Smaug x Ice-Dragon!Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by deepestfirefun on Tumblr.

Although he detested leaving his mountain unguarded, Smaug trusted that his reputation was enough to keep his domain safe while he made his weekly trek to Ered Nimrais. Ever since he had laid eyes upon the last of the ice-breathing dragons, known amongst the race of men as “The White Death,” he was certain that you were destined to be his mate and he would not settle for any other. Unfortunately, you had yet to take any interest in him or the mating gifts that he brought with him. He knew that the ice-dragons had always had a reputation for thinking very highly of themselves, and that their rarity had given them the impression that they were superior to all others. Nevertheless, he was persistent in his attempts to win your favor. 

As always, he made his journey in human form, so as to not garner any attention from the settlements between Erebor and his destination. Making his way through the entrance of your lair, he stepped very carefully to avoid slipping on the frozen surface. He found you sitting on your throne, which you had crafted entirely out of ice. Like himself, you had a flair for the dramatic. 

To him, you were as beautiful in your human form as you were as a dragon. In both states, your face and body glistened as if covered in a freshly fallen frost, and your eyes were a bright, piercing shade of light blue. Your hair was such a pale blonde that it was almost white. 

You acted as if you were in your own world, before finally letting your gaze fall on him. 

“Oh, it is you again,” you said flatly.

“Yes, it is I. I have brought you a gift.”

“Another one? Oh joy. Put it with the others,” you replied, waving towards a distant corner. 

“I want you to look at this one first,” he said walking over to your throne. “These jewels were the pride of the Elvish king Thranduil. They are pure white gems that look as if they were crafted out of the stars themselves.”

He watched as your eyes flickered over the stones, and for a brief moment, you wore an expression of being impressed. But, as quickly as it had appeared, it vanished again and was replaced with your usual nonchalance. 

“They are very nice,” was your only response.

“I was hoping you would wear these,” Smaug said.

Your eyes quickly locked on his. 

“You know very well what the meaning of that would be!” You said.

“Yes, I do. I intend to have you as my mate. I have gone above and beyond the normal dragon mating rituals because I expected you to be difficult to win, but I will not continue to come here and beg you to consider me. It is well known that you are the last of your kind. Either you can stay here and live alone until you die and your line ends, or you can stop looking down that snout of yours at those of us you consider beneath you and accept my offer. I would make a good mate for you.”

“You are a fire-breather! A destroyer! Look at what I have created here!” You yelled, standing up and waving your arms at the intricate ice-work that detailed every corner of your lair. “It is beautiful and speaks of my great skill! You know of nothing but destruction and ruin!”

“I will not argue with that statement,” he replied with a smirk. “But, I believe your reason is far simpler than that. I think that you are afraid.”

“How dare you imply that I am frightened of anything? I, Queen of the Ice-Dragons, afraid? Afraid of what?”

Moving dangerously close to you, he said, “You are afraid to feel the fire…to savor the heat.”

Then he grabbed you by the back of the head, pulled you to him, and planted a rough kiss on your lips. He poured all of his love, his longing, and his lust for you into it. When he pulled back, Smaug saw that the layer of frost that normally covered your face had melted into a glistening dew. 

Smaug gave you pleased smile and whispered, “Does this mean you will adorn yourself with my gems?”

Your eyes flickered open and you stared at him. But once the overwhelming effect of his kiss had passed, you pushed yourself away. Smaug saw the anger flash across your beautiful features before you transformed back into your true form. Taking your action as a threat, he too changed back into a dragon just in time to stop your blast of ice with his fiery breath. 

For a few moments, you stayed like that. His fire melting your ice enough to keep it from advancing, and your ice melting into water that extinguished his flames to the point that they could not reach you. Realizing it was a draw, you both ceased your efforts.

“We cancel each other out,” you muttered. “Our offspring would be powerless. Your genes would weaken my bloodline.”

For the first time since you had met him, you saw the dragon’s rage that he kept buried deep inside find its way out. Your beautiful ice fortress trembled and began to crumble with the force of his roar. You had seen him in his true body before, but never had you realized, until now, his capacity for ferocity. Had he always been this large and intimidating?

“I have tolerated your indifference and your arrogance, but I will not stand here and listen to you insult by ability to be a viable mate! Stay here and let the ice you love so much find its way to your cold heart, if it has not done so already. I will not be returning.”

With that, he turned and left you alone in your lair.

———————————————

The weeks passed and you found yourself greatly missing his presence in your life. Many times you thought about going to him, but what would you say? It was not in a dragon’s nature to apologize. One day, you sent one of the birds that would often seek shelter in your home to check on him and report back. You were sitting on your throne when it returned at full speed, chirping away rapidly.

“What?” You asked, shocked that the humans would have the audacity to attempt such a thing. “They mean to attack him?”

The bird chirped in affirmation. 

Without hesitation, you got up and hurried towards the exit before stopping dead in your tracks. 

“I almost forgot something.”

———————————————

As you dropped lower in the sky, you saw that Smaug had decided to engage his opponents outside of the mountain. They had brought a great many soldiers with them, but your attention wasn’t on them; it was on Smaug. The way he eliminated their forces with his flames was a sight to behold. It was, in its on way, an elegant form of artistry. You realized you had definitely not given him the credit that he so rightfully deserved.

Diving straight down, you released bursts of ice upon the warriors and landed on top of them, instantly shattering their bodies into shards. Working together, it did not take long for the survivors to decide to retreat. As you watched them run for the safety of their villages, you shaped your body back into a human form. You didn’t hear Smaug sneak up behind you.

“What are you doing here?” He asked.

You turned to see that he had taken his human form as well. For the first time, you let yourself appreciate his handsome, chiseled features and his golden eyes. You watched as the yellow orbs flickered to your neck and a large smile graced his beautiful face.

“You’re wearing the Elven gems,” he stated.

“Yes, it appears that I am,” you replied, trying to copy the nonchalant tone you had always used on him.

“You do realize what this means, don’t you?” He asked, moving so close that you had to tilt your head upwards to look at him. “What about my diluting your powerful bloodline and our useless offspring?”

“How could Smaug the Terrible and the White Death…the King Under the Mountain and the Queen of the Ice-Dragons…produce anything but the most powerful of heirs?”

Running your hand through his dark hair and pulling his head down until your lips were mere inches apart, you added, “Either way, it doesn’t matter. Your fire has already melted my ice. There’s no going back.”


End file.
